Why Can't I Answer When Someone Asks How I Am? — A 10-Minute Meditation for When the Words Won't Come
Somebody asked you properly today. They stopped, looked at you, and said, "How are you doing?" — and then they actually waited. There was a half a second in there where you had the chance to tell them. But what came out was, "Yeah, good, you." And you've been carrying that little moment around ever since, because it felt like a lie. It wasn't. This is for anyone who freezes when someone asks how they're doing, who can't find the words to answer honestly, and who's been quietly wondering why such a small question lands so hard.
For a place to return to rather than another place to explain yourself, download Anchored, Calming Anxiety's companion app, on the App Store at
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/anchored-panic-anxiety/id6785035669 or on Google Play at https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.martinhewlett.anchored. Inside it there's a daily check-in that never asks a follow-up question — no one on the other end, nothing to explain, some days you just need to be asked the right amount.
This session uses 4-2-6 breathing — in through the nose for four, a two-count rest, out through the mouth for six — and it asks you to notice that rest without gripping it or bracing against it, because it's not a hole to fill, it's two counts in which absolutely nothing is being asked of you. From there we sit with the idea that not having the words isn't the same as not being honest, and that you're not lying to anyone — you just haven't read yourself properly yet.
Hosted by clinical hypnotherapist and former paramedic Martin Hewlett, this episode is for the moment right after someone asks, and for anyone who's ever wanted to give a truer answer than the one that came out.
⏱️ Time Chapters
* 00:00 – The half-second before you answer
* 00:53 – Welcome to Calming Anxiety and the Anchored check-in
* 01:32 – Why does such a small question land so hard?
* 01:46 – Finding your quiet place
* 01:54 – 4-2-6 breathing: the rest that asks nothing of you
* 03:54 – You're not lying, you just haven't read yourself yet
* 04:19 – Guided affirmations
* 07:56 – Three daily caring tips
* 08:55 – Coming back gently
* 09:19 – Closing and sign-off
🌿 Today's Gentle Affirmations
Settle in and repeat these gently to yourself:
I do not have to explain myself to be worthy of being asked after.
I am allowed to give a short answer and still be an honest person.
Nothing in me is too complicated to be cared about.
If the words come, I will use them. And if they don't, I am still here.
I am safe. I am here. And there is nothing to fear right now.
💡 3 Daily Caring Tips
1. The next time somebody asks how you are, just notice the half second before you answer. You don't have to do anything differently — only notice that it's there.
2. Finish this sentence silently, for nobody but you: "Honestly, at the moment, I'm just ___." Let whatever word turns up be the right one, even if it's a very small word.
3. Think of one person you'd like to tell. You don't have to tell them today — just let yourself know who they are.
📱 Take Calming Anxiety With You Anywhere
Download Anchored on iOS at https://apps.apple.com/us/app/anchored-panic-anxiety/id6785035669 or on Google Play at https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.martinhewlett.anchored. Access over 2,500 searchable, offline-ready audio sessions, sleep stories with Books at Bedtime, and built-in nightlight features for the small hours. If this episode helped, please share it and leave a quick rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it genuinely helps more people find their way here.
And in everything, my friend, be kind.
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Music: All music by Chris Collins
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Ready for More Calm?Thank you for listening to the
Calming Anxiety Podcast, featuring
guided meditation,
mindfulness, and
sleep hypnosis sessions with Martin Hewlett. Our mission is to provide you with proven tools for
anxiety relief,
stress reduction, and a path toward
deep relaxation. Use this episode anytime you need to
calm your mind and feel more at ease.
