Would You Date You? Why Being Likable Matters More Than Being Lovable

Would you enjoy going on a date with yourself—or would it feel more like an interrogation? Too many singles become so focused on checking boxes, spotting red flags, and evaluating long-term potential that they forget the most important part of dating: creating a genuine connection.

Kimmy sits down with couples therapist and Choosing Us author Jonathan VanVegan to explore why being lovable isn't always enough—and why likability may be the real secret to attraction and lasting love. They discuss the resentment that quietly erodes relationships, the "beige flags" we catalog against our partners, and how curiosity, playfulness, appreciation, respect, and forgiveness can help couples enjoy each other again.

Whether you're dating, married, or trying to break an old relationship pattern, this episode will challenge you to stop interviewing, start experiencing, and take ownership of how you show up in love.   You'll hear:

• Dating should feel like a connection, not a job interview.
• Attraction is driven less by facts and more by how someone feels around you.
• Being lovable isn't enough—lasting relationships require genuinely liking each other.
• Constantly cataloging "beige flags" and minor annoyances creates resentment.
• Focus on your partner's strengths instead of only noticing what they do wrong.
• Curiosity, playfulness, appreciation, and affection can restore lost connection.
• Respect and feeling chosen or cherished are essential to emotional and physical intimacy.
• Forgiveness works best when paired with accountability, growth, and maturity.
• Ask yourself: "Do I believe I deserve the relationship of my dreams—and am I capable of building it?"
• Taking ownership of how you show up can transform both your dating life and your relationships.

 

If you're not sure what's getting in your way, book a FREE private call with Kimmy by clicking here https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/ breakthrough-session/. You'll uncover the patterns and blind spots that may be keeping you stuck and look at what you can start doing differently to create the kind of dating life and relationship you want.

Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels.

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Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣

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Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣

Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣

Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/ breakthrough-session/

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