The Best Way To Heal After Emotional Abuse

If you’re wondering how to get back to yourself after emotional abuse, listen to how Anne Blythe, M.Ed. came back to herself through writing, exercise, and boundaries.

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Transcript: How To Get Back To Yourself After Emotional Abuse

Anne: A few years ago, I was doing an interview for The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast. There was this freaky Friday situation. and the guest started interviewing me. I wanted to replay a portion of that episode for you today.

Juliane: What are some steps you’re taking and have taken that have helped you regain your own sense of balance?

Healing Through Writing After Emotional Abuse

Anne: I’m a writer. Writing has been healing for me. I wrote every abuse episode that I could think of. Every instance of gaslighting. Every instance of emotional or psychological abuse helped me sort out what was real, what wasn’t real. It was like a hundred pages. It was crazy. When I started using that as a draft to write my book, because I want to give people concrete examples. Like when my husband said he didn’t love me. I was so sick of my own story.

I thought that was a good sign after emotional abuse. So instead of thinking, I have to prove that he was abusive, which is how I felt before. Now that I’m healed more, I don’t need to process that anymore. Now I’m deleting huge sections out of it, because now I’m thinking, which examples will help other women?

Juliane: And you don’t have to prove why it was so crazy making for you.

Anne: Yeah, totally.

Reclaiming Physical Health After Emotional Abuse

Anne: My no contact boundary is actually the most helpful thing to me. Because any interaction with him is insane, focusing on my own physical health has been good. I’ve always been really athletic, and everything went out the window the moment I married him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZj_YL19POM

I didn’t ski anymore or mountain bike anymore. And I didn’t row anymore. I didn’t do any of the things I love doing. And now I’m getting back to that after emotional abuse. So I’m doing yoga every day and I’m weightlifting again. I may work at the ski resort the weekends when my kids are gone.

Juliane: I love that phrase, by the way, coming back to myself.

Anne: Yeah, and part of that was the abuse. And also part of it is that I have three kids under the age of six, and getting out of the house is really hard. They’re getting older now. My youngest was eleven months old when he was arrested. Time has helped a lot, too. It took a lot of time to process. I’d never taken an emotional abuse test, I had no idea he was abusive.

Emotional Struggles & Support

Anne: In fact, I just went through a pretty hard period. I went off my antidepressant, and decided I wasn’t emotionally eating anymore. So there’s about a month where I was crying every day. I mean, really bad, in the shower. At church, finding a room where no one was, and locking myself in there. Sitting on the floor, full on bawling my head off about everything that had happened.

Because I didn’t have the crutch of food anymore, and I didn’t have my antidepressant. So there were some feelings that I hadn’t quite felt. My sister was worried about me. So was everyone else. I was like, guys, I’m gonna be okay.

https://youtu.be/yu4b-nA3gaM

I just need to feel this right now. I’m not going to eat popcorn, and I’m not go