How to Tell Emotional Abuse vs Normal Conflict

What’s the difference between emotional abuse and normal conflict? I’ll dive into that below. When we’re figuring out the difference between emotional abuse vs normal conflict, it’s important to focus on emotional safety either way.

Step one would be to take an emotional abuse test to see if what you’re experiencing is emotional abuse.

Understanding Emotional Abuse vs Normal Conflict

Emotional Abuse: Emotional abuse is manipulating someone’s emotions to exploit them. Because it’s aim is exploitation, it causes significant damage to the victim’s sense of self.

Normal Conflict: Normal conflicts are an inevitable part of any relationship. These types of benign conflicts are caused by differences in opinions, values, or expectations, but there’s no exploitation involved. Normal conflicts happen with two healthy people who care about each other and want the best for each other.

When a husband uses online explicit material or cheats on his wife, it’s a form of emotional abuse that deeply affects her. Normal conflicts don’t cause infidelty, it’s emotional abuse.

What Is Emotional Safety

Many women in the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Community share stories of feeling alone—when friends dismiss their accounts of emotional abuse. Sometimes clergy or therapists discount emotional abuse victims, especially when their emotionally abusive husband lies to the clergy or therapist about what’s going on.

In many religious communities, marriage is more important than a person’s feelings or emotional safety. Which doesn’t make sense, since the point of marriage is emotional safety. This type of abuse violates the essence of marriage. Choosing safety doesn’t mean ending your marriage. Your husband’s decision to be emotionally abusive has already broken that trust.

At Betrayal Trauma Recovery, we emphasize that safety encompasses several aspects of life:

• Physical Safety: Make sure you meet basic needs like shelter, food, and clothing. Removing yourself from immediate emotional threats.
• Emotional and Psychological Safety: Finding an environment where you can express yourself without fear of judgment or retaliation.
• Spiritual Safety: Your beliefs are respected and not used against you.
• Financial Safety: Gaining control over your financial resources and decisions.
• Sexual Safety: Having autonomy over your own body and choices.

Steps To Begin Your Journey:

1. Separate Yourself from Harm:

• Enroll in The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Workshop to learn what type of abuse you’re dealing with (or even if he’s actually abusive), and then what strategies to use to keep yourself emotionally safe.

1. Surround Yourself with Support:

• Connect with support groups or communities like Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Sessions where you can share your story without judgment.

1. Practice Self-Care:

• Focus on basic needs like nutrition, hydration, and sleep to maintain your physical health.

1. Educate Yourself About Abuse:

• Understanding abuse dynamics can empower you and provide clarity on your situation. Listen to The FREE Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast.

Transcript: How to Tell Emotional Abuse vs Normal Conflict

Anne: Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery. This is Anne. I’m so excited to have Natalie on today’s episode. She’s the author of All the Scary Little Gods, and I’m so excited to have her on today. Welcome, Natalie.

Natalie: Thank you so much. I’m excited to be here.

Anne: You’re amazing. I’ve always appreciated your work. Especially all the interesting and fascinating deconstruction that you do with spiritual abuse. I love it. You’re so smart. And it’s just, it’s fun to have you here.

Let’s start by talking about your new book, All the Scary Little Gods.

<strong