Why Do Mums Feel Guilty For Putting Themselves First?

Why Do Mums Feel Guilty for Putting Themselves First? | Empty Nest & Rediscovering Yourself

You've spent years putting your kids, your partner and everybody else's needs before your own. But now your kids are growing up and you've finally got a little more time for yourself, why does doing something just for you feel so selfish? Maybe you struggle to relax, feel guilty spending money on yourself or find yourself questioning whether you should be doing something more useful. If you've ever felt uncomfortable choosing yourself after years of being needed, this episode is for you.

In today's episode of Empty Nest, Love & Me, we're talking about:

• Why mums feel guilty when they start putting themselves first. How years of organising our lives around everybody else's needs can make looking after ourselves feel uncomfortable.
• When being needed becomes part of our identity. Why we sometimes measure our value by how much we do for other people, and what happens when our adult kids become more independent.
• The difference between being selfish and having your own needs. Why taking time for yourself doesn't mean you love your family any less.
• Questioning the beliefs we've carried throughout motherhood. Exploring expectations such as "a good mum always puts everybody else first" and why those beliefs may no longer be helping us.
• 🎧 Using my See It. Name It. Reset It. Discuss It. approach. How recognising guilt, understanding where it comes from and challenging old beliefs can help us begin making room for ourselves again.

A little challenge for you this week

I want you to choose one small thing that's just for you.

Not because somebody needs you to do it.

Not because it's productive.

And not because it'll make somebody else's life easier.

Simply because it's something you want.

Maybe it's taking yourself out for a coffee, spending an afternoon reading, meeting a friend or exploring something you've always wanted to try.

And if that familiar feeling of guilt starts creeping in, don't immediately cancel your plans.

Instead, ask yourself:

"Am I actually doing something wrong, or am I simply doing something different from what I'm used to?"

Because sometimes, what feels selfish is simply something we're not used to allowing ourselves.

You can still be a loving mum, a supportive partner and somebody who cares deeply about their family while making room for yourself.

Remember, your kids growing up doesn't mean you've stopped being their mum. But it does mean you have an opportunity to rediscover the woman you are alongside being their mum.

And you don't need to feel guilty about that.

Let's stay connected

If today's episode has made you think about how much of yourself you've put aside over the years, please share it with another mum who might need to hear this conversation.

And if you're looking for more support, connection or a chance to share your own experiences, I'd love you to join me.

Join my FREE Skool community, The Love Reset Lounge. A welcoming space for empty nest parents to connect, have honest conversations, access free resources and find support from others who understand what they're going through.

Fancy joining me on the podcast? I'm inviting parents to apply to have a conversation with me on Empty Nest, Love & Me. Whether you're struggling with your identity, navigating changing relationships with your adult kids or discovering who you are again, your experiences could help another parent feel understood.

Looking for more support and resources? You'll also find my 1:1 coaching sessions, audio experiences and other resources designed to help you navigate the empty nest stage, reconnect with your relationships and rediscover yourself.

Visit my website to apply for a podcast conversation, join my FREE community and explore the resources available:

https://theloveresetcoach.com

Enjoying Empty Nest, Love & Me? Follow the podcast on your favourite listening app, and if these conversations have helped you, please consider leaving a rating or review. It helps other empty nest parents find us too.

Because you've spent years looking after everybody else.

You deserve to give yourself some of that same care and attention.

With love,

Demi-Lee Taylor

Empty Nest & Love Languages Coach