It often begins with good intentions.

You hit the gym to clear your head, to feel alive, to sharpen your edge. The results come quickly.

More muscle,

more discipline,

more confidence. And it feels like you’re in control.

But slowly, the control flips. The barbell stops being a tool and starts being a test. One missed workout feels like failure. One glance at someone stronger feels like defeat. The voice inside doesn’t let up: you need more.

I’ve lived it. In the Army, I spent countless hours bulking up.

Later, when I raced amateur cycling, I saw the same drive take men down darker paths. doping crept into the ranks, not just at the pro level. Guys my age, even older, told me they “just wanted to stay relevant in the peloton.” That’s how deep it runs, the fear of losing what makes you feel like a man.

The tragedy is this: the more you chase strength that way, the weaker you actually become. Because a body built on obsession can’t hold you up. And when it cracks, the crash is hard.

Watch Episode 14 and see what real strength looks like.

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