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Being in love and loving someone aren’t always the same thing.
Being in love can be about chemistry, longing, fantasy, desire, and the way someone makes you feel. But loving someone asks something harder: can you keep seeing who they actually are as they change? Can you stay curious about the person they’re becoming instead of holding them to the version you first fell for?
In this episode, I talk about why intensity alone isn’t enough to build a life with someone, why long-term relationships can go through seasons where the love feels different, and why falling out of love doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is over.
I also get into what happens after betrayal when you’re still watching an ex’s life and waiting for them to suffer, fail, or finally understand what they did to you. At some point, healing means taking your attention back and putting it somewhere they no longer get to participate in.
And I answer one of the questions I hear most: how do you know whether your marriage is going through a hard season or whether the relationship is actually ending?
In this episode, I talk about:
• The difference between being in love and loving someone• Why intensity and chemistry aren’t enough• Loving someone as they grow and change• Why we sometimes miss who we were in a relationship more than the person• Three questions to ask when looking back on a past relationship• Why falling in and out of love can be part of a long-term relationship• How to stop making an ex’s life evidence for your own• Why healing can require teaching your attention a new address• The difference between a hard season and a relationship that may be ending• Why movement, ownership, and changed behavior matter more than promises
Sometimes love isn’t about getting back to who you used to be together. Sometimes it’s about deciding whether you still want to know and choose the people you’re becoming.
If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
🎙️ Connect with me:
📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
My book publishing company, Soulprint:https://www.soulprintmedia.co
📘 Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/
Find out more:https://www.theangrytherapist.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
