We Celebrate the Guy Who Missed India (Happy Monday?)

Today is both Columbus Day and Indigenous Peoples Day — so yeah, we’re celebrating the dude who “discovered” America and the folks who were already here. I joke about Columbus thinking he’d sailed to India and, spoiler, he missed it by, like, 9,000 miles. I remind people that Indigenous ancestors have been here for thousands of years, so the whole “Indians” mix-up is wild. I wish you a Happy Columbus Day and/or Indigenous Peoples Day. And if none of that does it for you, hey — Happy Monday.

Takeaways:

• I point out that today is officially Columbus Day and, in many places, also Indigenous Peoples Day — which is hilariously contradictory.
• We joke that Columbus “discovered” America even though Indigenous peoples had been here thousands of years before, so yeah, awkward.
• I roast Columbus for thinking he reached India, even though he missed it by about nine thousand miles — classic navigation fail.
• I wrap up with a shrug: celebrate Columbus, celebrate Indigenous Peoples, or celebrate neither — either way, happy Monday.