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"He's like Rihanna." HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GREG COTE! Dan thinks Zaslow looks ugly today, but as angry as he is about that, he's angrier at the Marlins pitchers. Plus, will the University of Miami get their asses kicked at halftime this weekend? And why did Don Van Natta Jr. defend ESPN's reporting so vigorously? And, most importantly, are we gonna talk about the first NFL game of the season or...? Today's cast: Dan, David, Zaslow, Roy, Jeremy, Mike, and Tony.