Stillness is Not Failure | 159

What if the quiet you’ve been craving is not a sign that you’re tired of your life, but a sign that you need space to finally hear yourself again?

When you are used to answering questions, solving problems, caring for others, and keeping everything moving, stillness can feel unfamiliar or even selfish. But quiet does not mean you have stopped caring.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis reflects on the unexpected relief of walking into a quiet house and realizing that, for a few moments, nobody needed anything from her. She explores our connection between productivity and self-worth, challenges common ideas about resilience, and shares how stillness can create space to reconnect with yourself and God. Through Psalm 46:10, she offers a gentle reminder that you do not have to keep every plate spinning. Sometimes, simply being still is a blessing.

This week’s reflection:

What am I noticing now that it’s quiet?

In this episode:

(0:00) The unexpected relief of walking into a quiet house

(2:01) When productivity and being needed become part of your identity

(3:18) Why stillness is not failure or laziness

(4:31) Stillness for the woman who is used to keeping everything going

(5:52) Connecting busyness, importance, and self-worth

(7:32) Why stillness and doing nothing are not the same

(8:20) Stepping away from external demands and remembering who you are

(9:28) Why loving others does not mean every moment must belong to them

(10:48) Rethinking resilience and what it means to persevere

(12:26) Why so many women feel they need permission to be still

(13:50) Simple ways to find moments of stillness in everyday life

(15:00) Psalm 46:10 and the role of faith in stillness

(15:57) Remembering that you do not have to fix or control everything

(17:38) How quiet gives you space to hear yourself again

(18:44) This week’s question: “What am I noticing now that it’s quiet?”

(20:02) Creating space to hear yourself, hear God, and experience your life

(21:55) Continuing the conversation with Below the Circle After Hours

If you know you want to live your life differently—not just keep getting through it—join Dr. Phyllis on Substack for weekly reflections, deeper conversations, and encouragement.

Visit: https://drphyllishayesreams.substack.com