EP 30: The Boiling Frog Syndrome: Recognizing and Escaping Toxic Relationships with Coach Rocky

In this powerful episode, I'm joined by Rocky Martinez, an empowering Business Coach and Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author and Facilitator. Rocky is a Brand Strategist, Emotional Intelligence and REBT expert, and the Creator of the Color Your Dreams Masterminds. She is the bestselling author of Color Your Dreams, Paid To Do What You Love: A Woman's Guide To Monetizing Your Gifts & Talents And Build A Business You Love In 7 Easy Steps, a contributing author of the Best Sellers "Co-parenting in Harmony, The Art of Putting Your Child's Soul First" and "Co-parenting in Harmony, Creating a Ripple Effect." In 2019, she was the Creative Director and Columnist of the "Community Magazine Vida Las Vegas."

Today, she shares her experience with narcissistic abuse and how she broke free from the "boiling frog syndrome". Coach Rocky shares her childhood experiences that normalized toxic behaviors and set her up to tolerate an abusive marriage later in life. She discusses the different types of abuse and how the highs and lows of the toxic relationship kept her trauma bonded and addicted to the cycle. Coach Rocky explains how journaling helped her recognize the patterns and reclaim her identity. She also emphasizes the importance of taking small steps to do things for yourself to slowly regain your power.

Ready to break free from toxic relationships and reclaim your power? Tune in now!

Timestamps:

[02:27] Rocky's background and journey into coaching

[15:48] How people slowly acclimate to toxic situations

[17:46] Factors that contribute to staying in toxic relationships

[18:48] Rocky's childhood experiences with toxic family dynamics

[30:56] Entering a toxic marriage and not recognizing the abuse

[46:00] The subtle and incremental nature of narcissistic abuse in relationships

[50:26] The importance of working on yourself

[52:50]The boiling frog syndrome and the normalization of abuse

[56:05] The importance of outsmarting the narcissist and doing things for yourself

[01:03:28] The illogical nature of narcissistic abuse and the childhood patterns that enable it

[01:05:10] The importance of feeling heard and the Me Too movement

[01:10:48] Steps to break free

[01:25:00] Rocky's plan to secretly pack and leave

[01:28:00] The importance of having a safety plan when leaving an abusive relationship

Quotes:

• We have to understand that once you have those patterns when you're a child from childhood, those patterns are always there. And you have to be very mindful and work on yourself constantly.
• When we're in a toxic relationship, we're in a toxic environment, and things happen, and then we tolerate it.
• We are strong, and we can withstand whatever comes because we're strong women, and this family is glued by the women.
• Courage means that you still have fear. You're just doing it anyway.
• Remember who you are, you know. You might be in the mud, you might be all dirty, and your garments might be all dirty, so put on your crown anyway.
• If you didn't have all that light inside you, they wouldn't want to silence you. But because you do, that's why they pick us. They don't pick a weak person.
• Nobody wants to be abused. Nobody wants to be mistreated. We just end up being in there. And that's why it's like, it's so strange how we don't realize it."
• When your spirit is broken, it doesn't matter what you do. You just feel like you're trapped in the same pattern over and over and over.
• You have to make a decision to be happy. Because when you start making a decision to be happy, you are telling yourself, I'm gonna be happy.

Resources

MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://a.co/d/07nUVKDf

FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards<