Breaking the Silence: Understanding Secondary Gaslighting After Narcissistic Abuse

In this episode, Laura opens up about her journey of healing after leaving an abusive marriage with a narcissist. Tackling the topic of secondary gaslighting, Laura shares her experiences of not being believed when trying to disclose the abuse to friends and family. She explores the challenges survivors face, including the trauma bond and the incremental nature of narcissistic abuse. Laura emphasizes the importance of understanding complex PTSD and seeking professional help from those trained in the field. 

Join Laura as she encourages women to speak up, share their stories, and support each other on the healing journey!

Timestamps

[01:06] What Laura has been experiencing since leaving her marriage

[02:26] What secondary gaslighting entails

[02:54] How secondary gaslighting comes about

[03:43] How someone finds themselves in the trauma bond

[04:45] What helped Laura with her moving forward and her healing

[06:30] Why The National Domestic Violence Hotline advises against couples therapy

[07:50] How some professionals may gaslight you

[08:35] Two things Laura considered at the end of her marriage

Notable Quotes

• Secondary gaslighting is when victims of narcissistic abuse try to tell family or friends what happened, and then they're not believed. They can say things like, I know them, they would never do anything like that. Are you sure that's what happened to you? Now, do you believe that's what happened? Or is that just your perception? Another thing that can happen is secondary gaslighting is treating victims like it was just a bad marriage, a bad match, or a bad breakup.
• The thing about narcissistic abuse is that it is so incremental that you hardly even know it's happening. The abuse is so minimal. Well, it's not minimal, but the abuse is so incremental that it is just almost not known. And then when people don't believe you, it's hard to explain. Then you get into the trauma bond.
• All abusers have issues with their sense of entitlement, their need for control, and their stunning lack of empathy. Rather than focusing on the victim, it's time for society to wake up to the abusive nature of their perpetrators.

Resources

Follow the podcast here:  thatswhereimatpodcast.com

Psych Central:  https://psychcentral.com/

Richard Grannon: https://www.youtube.com/@RICHARDGRANNON

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

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