107. Sorry I'm Late. I Have ADHD.' But .... My Friend Has ADHD Too. She's Never Late

Sorry I'm late. I have ADHD. So does my friend. She's sitting at the coffee shop halfway through her first one, watching me sweat through the door twenty minutes late. Same diagnosis. Different morning. Different brain doing the work behind it.

What We Cover

• The vein surgery saga — three appointments, three completely different outcomes, same brain
• The receptionist who handed me the appointment card like a library card and the one who didn't
• Why "set more alarms, leave earlier" is the equivalent of telling someone with low blood sugar to just have more energy
• The four types of ADHD time blindness — petrol gauge stuck on full, the car that won't start, the GPS that lies, the seatbelt warning that's late
• Why your strategies haven't worked — because they were built for someone else's type
• What actually works for each one — visual time, body doubling, departure rituals, calibration with a stopwatch, manufactured deadlines
• Why "I left heaps of time" keeps being true and untrue at the same time
• The 40-50% rule — adults with ADHD underestimate task time by half. Double it. Then add buffer.
• Why the friend at the coffee shop at five to nine isn't more disciplined — she's borrowing structure from her environment
• What collapses on school holidays, sick days, working from home, and what that tells you about which strategies are actually holding you up
• The estrogen/dopamine link — why the same brain at 32 isn't the same brain at 42

Free Resource

Energy Accounting Guide — for the dopamine/load piece: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/

Free Resources Library:

https://adhdmums.com.au/product-category/free-resources/

Paid Resource

ADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-planner-and-values/

Related Episodes

• S3 EP24: QUICK RESET — The ADHD Myth of 'Just Try Harder' — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/
• S3 EP50: HORMONES — When Hormones Hijack the Mind: ADHD, Perimenopause & Emotional Burnout — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-50-hormones-when-hormones-hijack-the-mind-adhd-perimenopause-emotional-burnout/
• S2 EP67: Why Routines Always Seem to Fail for ADHD Families — and How to Fix Them — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-67-why-routines-always-seem-to-fail-for-adhd-families-and-how-to-fix-them/
• S3 EP49: QUICK RESET — "I'm Not Lazy — My House Just Doesn't Have a Memory" — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-49-quick-reset-im-not-lazy-my-house-just-doesnt-have-a-memory/

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REFERENCES

Barkley, R.A. (1997). ADHD and the nature of self-control. Guilford Press.

Noreika, V., Falter, C.M., & Rubia, K. (2013). Timing deficits in ADHD. Neuropsychologia, 51(2), 235–266.

Willcutt, E.G., et al. (2005). Validity of the executive function theory of ADHD. Biological Psychiatry, 57(11), 1336–1346.

Graybiel, A.M. (2008). Habits, rituals, and the evaluative brain. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 31, 359–387.

Toplak, M.E., Dockstader, C., & Tannock, R. (2006). Temporal information processing in ADHD. Journal of Neuroscience Methods, 151(1), 15–29.

Ptacek, R., et al. (2019). Clinical implications of the perception of time in ADHD. Medical Science Monitor, 25, 3918–3924.

Sonuga-Barke, E.J.S. (2002). Psychological heterogeneity in AD/HD — a dual pathway model. Behavioural Brain Research, 130(1–2), 29–36.

Jacobs, E., & D'Esposito, M. (2011). Estrogen shapes dopamine-dependent cognitive processes. Journal of Neuroscience, 31(14), 5286–5293.

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