67: People-Pleasing at Christmas: How to Stop Saying Yes When You Mean No

I thought I was being polite.

I thought I was keeping my options open.

But somewhere between exhaustion, people-pleasing, and old survival habits, I abandoned myself — again.

In this episode, I share the exact moment it clicked: my 'soft no’s' weren’t boundaries at all. They were apologies wearing polite outfits. And when everything finally caught up with me, my nervous system had already run out of fuel.

This is a deeply human conversation about people-pleasing, the fawn response, ADHD overwhelm, and why saying no can feel genuinely unsafe — even when you desperately need to.

Key Takeaways

• Why 'maybe' is not a neutral response when you’re exhausted
• How people-pleasing is a nervous-system survival strategy, not a personality flaw
• What the fawn response actually looks like in ADHD mums
• Why overwhelm makes boundaries collapse
• The hidden cost of keeping the peace

🔗 Related Episodes & Recommended Listening

If this episode landed for you, these conversations explore the same patterns of people-pleasing, masking, self-sacrifice, and nervous-system survival:

• Stop People-Pleasing: The ADHD Mum’s Guide to Boundaries, Balance, and Breaking Free
• 👉 Listen here
• You Were the Good Girl. That’s Why You’re Falling Apart Now.
• 👉 Listen here
• High Camouflaging ADHD and ASD
• 👉 Listen here
• Self-Sacrifice Is Not Your Friend (And Here’s Why)
• 👉 Listen here
• QUICK RESET: I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality
• 👉 Listen here

🤍 FB Group:

If you want a space where you don’t have to explain yourself:

👉 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group

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