66. Stop People-Pleasing This Christmas — The Year I Stopped Apologising for My Child

December brings presents… and pressure. Family dynamics get loud, expectations get heavier, and suddenly you’re managing everyone’s feelings and your ADHD child’s reactions — all while trying not to implode.

This episode answers a powerful listener question: How do I handle gift-opening with my ADHD/PDA child without feeling ashamed, judged, or like I’m failing?

 It’s not just about presents. It’s about generational conditioning, people-pleasing, masking, and the old belief that ‘being liked = being good.’

What We Cover

• Why ADHD/PDA kids may not react the “expected” way to gifts
• The inherited ‘good girl’ conditioning mums carry into adulthood
• Fawning as a trauma response (and why it flares during Christmas)
• How masking is taught — and why many of us learned adult comfort > child honesty
• How to script boundaries with family without apologising
• What to do before, during and after gift-opening to reduce conflict
• Why guilt shows up (and why it doesn’t mean you’re wrong)

This Episode Is For You If…

• Your stomach drops any time someone comments on your child’s reactions
• You’re torn between protecting your child and appeasing adults
• You feel responsible for everyone’s comfort — except your own
• You want to break the ‘good girl’ cycle, but December makes it hard
• You need language, scripts, and validation for navigating family events

Resources & Links 

Related Podcast Episodes

• The Good Girl Episode
• The Red Pen Christmas: How to Stop Editing Yourself for Everyone Else
• Christmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling There

Relevant Tools & Programs

• Festive F* It Plan** — your calmer, kinder December blueprint
• ADHD Mums Guide to Boundaries & Breaking Free from People-Pleasing
• ADHD Mum’s Guide to Managing Overwhelm During Busy Seasons 
• Navigating Impulse Spending During the Holidays with ADHD

Community & Forms

• Listener Question Form 
•  ADHD Mums Facebook Community — collective wisdom + real-life scripts

Content Warning

This episode touches on masking, childhood invalidation, and trauma-related people-pleasing patterns.

Listen Now

Spotify | Apple | adhdmums.com.au

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