58. Things That Look Like Bad Parenting But Are Actually Neurodivergence with Tracey Jewel

When a child melts down in public or refuses to eat, the world sees “bad behaviour.” But often, what looks like defiance or poor parenting is actually neurodivergence — and a family doing their best in a system that doesn’t understand them.

In this deeply validating conversation, Jane sits down with Tracey Jewel — author, advocate, and mum of a neurodivergent family — to talk about reframing “bad parenting” through a neurodiverse lens. From ARFID and sensory overload to the grief and joy of parenting differently, this episode challenges the idea of what a “good parent” looks like and celebrates authenticity over appearances.

What You’ll Hear

• Tracey’s journey from reality TV to raising an ADHD + autistic son — and discovering her own diagnosis
• The hidden grief of parenting a child who doesn’t fit the mould — and how to hold both love and loss at once
• What ARFID really looks like in real life (and why it’s not just “fussy eating”)
• Why “structure” isn’t always the solution for neurodivergent families — and when it can become oppressive
• The difference between co-regulation and control: what actually helps during a meltdown
• How to reframe “fairness” in families where everyone’s needs look different

This Episode Is For You If...

• You’ve ever felt judged in public for your child’s behaviour
• You’re raising an ADHD or autistic child and constantly second-guessing yourself
• You’ve wondered why “routine” doesn’t work for your family the way it seems to for others
• You’re craving a conversation that feels real, not sugar-coated

Key Takeaway

What looks like chaos is often communication. When we stop chasing “good parenting” and start embracing true connection, our families thrive in their own rhythm — even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.

Resources Mentioned

• Inclusive Mums Club — Tracey Jewel’s Perth-based and online community for neurodivergent families. Free membership and sensory-friendly events.
• ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) information — Raising Children Network
• Dr Brené Brown — Atlas of the Heart and The Power of Vulnerability (on emotional awareness and co-regulation).
• Check out Tracey's IG: @traceyjewel_ify

Related ADHD Mums Episodes

• 🎧 The Emotional Load of Raising Neurodivergent Girls — And How to Lighten It — Finding compassion for yourself in the middle of invisible labour.
• 🎧 Surviving the Mental Load of the School Year — How to stop blaming yourself when the system isn’t built for you.

Listen Now

🎧 Spotify | Apple Podcasts | ADHDMums.com.au

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:</