25. When You Say Too Much: ADHD, Oversharing and the Room Going Quiet

Have you ever answered a simple question with the whole real answer — and watched the room go a particular kind of quiet? Have you ever lain awake at 2am running back one thing you said in a group chat three years ago, certain everyone clocked it the way you did? Have you ever walked out of a room having already decided you were the too-much one before anyone said a word?

There's a reason your brain gave the director's cut when everyone else gave three sentences. It's not the reason you've been telling yourself.

CHAPTERS

00:16 — The plastic chair, the room going quiet, and knowing before you know why

00:46 — Six weeks postpartum, new town, no family, no one to talk to but her husband

01:11 — The things about babies nobody says out loud because they're 'obvious'

02:33 — Why she joined a mother's group, and the morning it all went sideways

03:27 — Twenty minutes late, sweaty, in her husband's vomit-swapped T-shirt

04:13 — Bows, baptism outfits and homemade plates: the prep she didn't know about

05:29 — Three questions. Name, baby's name, the birth. Easy.

06:07 — What recent trauma does when someone kindly asks you to tell it

08:00 — The Wi-Fi freeze: watching the room drop out in real time

09:00 — Morning tea, the decaf, and 'where the f*ck are we?'

10:01 — Kate's three sentences, and the instruction Jane never heard

11:30 — The most embarrassing moment, and the one heading she filed it under for years

12:44 — Going back into the room with the lens she has now

12:55 — The two filters: the words she heard vs the contract underneath them

14:00 — The freeze wasn't a verdict — it was sorting happening in front of her

14:49 — Why it was actually the most efficient thing she's ever done

15:10 — The next week: the biscuits, the permanent marker, the friend for life

16:43 — The pram that rolled past the window on its own

17:24 — Watching the room split again — who moves away, who leans in

18:11 — Told to be less your whole life — and why she won't join that group

19:14 — Being an adult: let people move towards you or away, but let them choose

20:11 — Telling everyone who you are up front, and the door it leaves open

RESOURCES & REFERENCES

Free Resources

After Your Diagnosis Kit — for the 'oh, that's why I've always done that' realisation —

https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mum-after-diagnosis-kit/

Paid Resources

Navigating School Pick-Up & Social Settings — the guide Jane names in this episode: how ADHD and autistic mums read social situations, how neurotypical people do, and how to bridge the gap — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/surviving-school-pick-up/

ADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning — for the days the too-much shame has flattened you — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-reset-workbook-values-energy-planning-for-adhd-mums/

ADHD Mums Shop — https://adhdmums.com.au/shop/

Related Episodes

Is It Social Anxiety — or Is It Autism — S3, with Amanda Moses — the 'said too much, read the room wrong' feeling — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-34-is-it-social-anxiety-or-is-it-autism-with-amanda-moses/

Too Much? Or Just Misunderstood: ADHD, RSD & Emotional Intensity — Jane solo — the after-sting of 'too much' — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-83-too-much-or-just-misunderstood-adhd-rsd-the-power-of-emotional-intensity/

The Untold Struggles of Motherhood (Part 1) — Jane solo — new-baby isolation, no support —

https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-45-the-untold-struggles-of-motherhood-part-1/

Is It ADHD or Motherhood? — Jane solo — the invisible rulebook nobody hands you —

https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-22-is-it-adhd-or-motherhood-solo-episode/

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