Insidious — Magellans at the Movies

AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Ahem. Excuse me, I was just having a frightening dream in which Gordon Ramsey kept viciously criticizing my cooking and then I looked down and realized I was trying to feed him a miniature version of myself. Now, you may hear that and think the problem is rooted in psychology, or perhaps an undigested bit of beef, but in point of fact you only reveal your own ignorance with such ridiculous hypotheses, for the truth is that I was astral projecting into a world of ghosts and ghouls, a strange realm in which the spirits of dead rip off Freddy Krueger, whistle for some reason, and listen to scratchy old phonographs. I am of course referring to the terrifying netherworld of The Further first appearing in Insidious, a 2010 horror film directed by James Wan. This dread-filled drama of deadly demons and darth maul lookalikes earned a decent reception from critics and a massive chunk of change at the box office, ensuring they’ll keep making the things for the rest of human history, but will the Magellans at the Movies happily tiptoe through the tulips of fear in the garden of skillful thrills? Or will the movie succumb to the coma of weak scares, tearfully attended to by the mourning mother of excessive reliance on horror tropes? I could tell you the answer, but why not go Further and listen to the episode yourself?

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