Welcome to Magellans at the Movies, the outrageously popular* new podcast about all things movies brought to you by Nathan “I-can’t-believe-I-ate-the-whole-thing” Magalhães and his brother Elliot “Who-on-Earth-is-going-to-listen-to-a-podcast-we-make” Magalhães! (*Outrageous popularity pending) Join the brothers Magalhães (Anglicized as Magellan) as they bicker and banter about movies no one has seen or cares about or that have already been analyzed by far sharper minds than their own every week, along with special guest stars of varying willingness and notoriety! Get ready to laugh along with Nathan’s meandering freshman film student level critiques of movies you’ve never heard of, and enj...
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Nov 13, 2026 · 1:11:47
In a Magellans at the Movies first, today Nathan and Elliot will be reviewing a documentary, specifically Grizzly Man, a 2005 Werner Herzog-directed account of the life, thought,…
Nov 6, 2026 · 1:05:51
What would you do if that shadow from your past came back to haunt you? How would you react if that rude guy who you stiffed when you were working at McDonald's by only putting…
Oct 30, 2026 · 1:06:11
AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Ahem. Excuse me, I was just having a frightening dream in which Gordon Ramsey kept viciously criticizing my cooking and then I looked down and realized I was…
Oct 23, 2026 · 56:42
Word of advice if you’re in a horror movie: never relocate. Even if your house is a dilapidated, rat-infested ruin I can all but guarantee that it’s preferable to whatever murder…
Oct 16, 2026 · 1:07:09
It may seem strange now, but there was a time when advanced life on Mars was a serious scientific contention. Supposed canals on the red planet's surface filled the imaginations…
Oct 9, 2026 · 59:59
Privacy can be hard to come by these days. Whether it’s nosy neighbors, intrusive family members, or the ever present eye of avaricious corporations gobbling up your personal…
Oct 3, 2026 · 54:59
Arguments. Some people have them just constantly, and always at such a volume as to include everyone within a two mile radius in the dispute, whether they like it or not. The…
Sep 27, 2026 · 1:01:23
Video games. One of the most ubiquitous and profitable mediums of entertainment in the world right now and the core personality trait of the most annoying person you know, video…
Sep 18, 2026 · 58:02
Did you ever get the feeling you were being . . . watched? That a thousand eyes behind a thousand cameras were tracking your every move, broadcasting your life to unknown…
Sep 12, 2026 · 56:09
Superheroes. In comic books they’re cool, colorful men and women dispensing righteous justice to an eclectic cast of goofy supervillains. Yet, what would the paragons of costumed…
Sep 4, 2026 · 54:54
Space, basketball, and cartoons. Is there any more beloved combination in the grand halls of the cinematic medium? Everyone has their own personal favorites of the astronomical…
Aug 31, 2026 · 1:40:58
Cars go vroom, explosions go boom. Such is the organizational motto, founding principle, and indeed core appeal of The Fast and the Furious, a wildly successful series of car…
Aug 21, 2026 · 1:11:42
Why do I have to tell you who Spider-Man is? Have you seriously never heard of him, even if you haven’t seen this movie? I have better things to do than explain the deal with one…
Aug 14, 2026 · 1:09:10
Hair. Where? Here, there, and everywhere! What am I jabbering about? Why Rapunzel, of course, the heroine with uncommonly blessed follicles most famously seen on screen in…
Aug 8, 2026 · 1:08:07
Neighbors. Whether they’re polka dancing in the apartment above yours or inexplicably mowing the lawn at five in the morning, the people living over, under, and around us can be…
Jul 31, 2026 · 1:10:45
There’s no business like show business. Actually, I think there’s at least a couple businesses in which clueless narcissists and incompetent money men make fools of themselves…
Jul 24, 2026 · 55:42
I don't like alcohol. It's bitter and unhealthy, and it gets everywhere . . . you know, if you spill it. No sir, alcohol has never been for me, and indeed its popularity is on…
Jul 18, 2026 · 1:25:52
What a nightmare it is to commute. To trudge in a great column of drones into the stone bellies of banks, firms, offices, and workshops only to retake your place in the same…
Jul 10, 2026 · 1:13:54
Everyone loves an underdog story, and no unlikely triumph gets audiences on their feet like those shocking upsets which unfold in sports. The victory of the Earthy Lovable Small…
Jul 3, 2026 · 1:05:08
Ah, the heady days of youth, throwing action figures down stairwells and smashing armies of toy soldiers together in shocking displays of poor generalship. You may remember these…
Jun 27, 2026 · 1:11:30
Fernão de Magalhães, or if you’re a lazy, uncultured American, Ferdinand Magellan. He probably isn’t a historical figure to whom you’ve dedicated much thought lately, or, you…
Jun 19, 2026 · 2:10:02
Magellans at the Movies. What can I say about this storied institution, this foundational pillar of film criticism that hasn’t been said? More books have been written on the…
Jun 12, 2026 · 1:02:32
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say the word “sports?” If you said something along the lines of the majesty of the human body in motion, achieving feats of…
Jun 5, 2026 · 54:53
Nathan and Elliot are back at it with their comic misadventures in movie reviewing, this time examining the 1958 Alfred Hitchcock classic Vertigo. Will they be made dizzy with…
May 29, 2026 · 1:00:10
Siblings. Can’t live with ‘em, absolutely can live without ‘em, but, unfortunately for those of us who are not criminally minded, circumstances often restrict our options. Life…
May 23, 2026 · 1:25:29
Obsession, it’s what I feel for videos of tortoises eating lettuce and the name of a 2026 horror movie directed by Curry Barker that Magellans at the Movies are reviewing today.…
May 15, 2026 · 1:10:37
Malls . . . uh . . . hmmm, that's a tricky one. Malls are no longer the lively, vibrant organisms they once were, after all. The few remaining malls that haven't been torn down…
May 8, 2026 · 58:13
SIMON! GARFUNKEL! SHUT UP ALREADY! Sorry about that, folks, I’m trying to write the description for today’s new episode, but the incessant crooning of everyone’s ninth favorite…
May 1, 2026 · 57:14
Please stop making me write these descriptions. I’ve never seen a movie in my life. Nathan throws plot descriptions into the pit where he keeps me and just expects me to know how…
Apr 25, 2026 · 1:01:28
Hello there! How about pigeons, am I right? What’s that? You don’t understand? How unfortunate, you see, that joke is a guaranteed knee-slapper in the standup clubs of Albania,…
Apr 17, 2026 · 1:02:41
Space. The final frontier, and the setting for innumerable science fiction books, movies, TV shows, and video games. Space being such a vast and, as far as we know, blank canvas…
Apr 11, 2026 · 1:51:00
Welcome to Gotham City. A gloomy den of exotic criminality where the rain is frequent, the people fearful, and the architecture alternatingly Gothic, Art Deco, and, uh, Chicago.…
Apr 4, 2026 · 1:06:22
The devil. According to various religious and folkloric traditions this dastardly fellow is in the details, better if you know him, and a beast on the fiddle. What, some bold…
Mar 27, 2026 · 57:51
Drugs. When just saying no to them somehow fails, their introduction into your life is likely to bring problems as numerous as they are unpleasant. For those of you unwilling to…
Mar 21, 2026 · 1:05:05
Today we will review a 2024 James Mangold directed movie called, A Complete Unknown, and honestly? Same. However, you may feel better about your anonymity when you learn that the…
Mar 13, 2026 · 1:10:43
Law. It’s one of humanity’s oldest, most important systems, boasting manifestations as numerous as they are complex. From the Code of Justinian to those weird, uniform series of…
Mar 6, 2026 · 53:59
Math and baseball, who knew they went together like burgers and fries? Probably all those guys with arsenals of complex spreadsheets who end up being the only ones who actually…
Feb 27, 2026 · 1:10:18
William Shakespeare and his vocabulary of thous, thees, and doths has been the delight of literature nerds and the scourge of high school students since before ChatGPT had even…
Feb 13, 2026 · 1:04:03
The tragic sinking of the RMS Titanic was an event that saw the telling of many stories. Stories of heroism and valor as well as cowardice and ugliness. Unfortunately, none of…
Feb 6, 2026 · 1:08:51
As the people in my basement will tell you, in hostage situations as in parties, your host is often the difference between a legendary, all night rager and a brief, unpleasant…
Jan 31, 2026 · 1:08:33
How many times has it been said? In order to navigate life, you simply must keep a good head on your shoulders. To be fair, this advice makes perfect sense: without a head on…
Jan 23, 2026 · 1:22:34
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, nerds of all ages, welcome to Magellans at the Movies Film Fight Night! We have an electrifying match for you this evening: a contest that…
Jan 17, 2026 · 1:01:47
Books! Books are great. They’re transportive and informative; they make you look real smart if you “accidentally” leave them out where they’re sure to be seen before guests…
Jan 9, 2026 · 1:17:14
Is season five of Stranger Things good? Well, stranger things have happened! Now that you’re done keeling over with hysterical laughter at that hilarious joke, please join…
Jan 2, 2026 · 1:38:21
What an utterly terrible year 2025 has been. People are angry, depressed, and hopelessly ensnared in economic woes, and Europe is doing an alarmingly accurate throwback cosplay…
Dec 27, 2025 · 55:12
Stand by me. If that's something I ever say to you, be aware that I have likely been replaced by an alien clone. Of course, I’m the odd one here. Proximity, and the intimacy…
Dec 19, 2025 · 1:31:18
Ah, to be alive in the 1900s, 1910s, 1920s, 1930s, 1940s, and 1950s. When the global power of communism reached its absolute zenith, just about everyone in the world had to team…
Dec 12, 2025 · 1:02:12
There’s nothing quite like a night at the theater. Taking in Shakespeare from within a few hundred to a few dozen feet of the actual, living actors is just a different experience…
Dec 5, 2025 · 53:59
RAAAAWR!!! Oh, apologies, I didn’t mean to terrify you with my mighty roar. You see, I was just pretending to be a dinosaur. What silly, brutish creatures they were. How…
Nov 22, 2025 · 50:35
Travel. Doesn’t the very concept just send a shiver down your spine? Sure, it’s nice to be at the Brickworks Museum in beautiful Southampton, England, but getting there is a…
Nov 15, 2025 · 56:36
You low down dirty rotten scoundrel, I’ll kill you for replacing my cornflakes with a colony of cockroaches! How many times have you heard those words? It’s only natural that…
Nov 7, 2025 · 59:28
Wait! Did you hear that? It was the sound of demonic mischief made as the witching hour unfolds. It was the sound of infernal whispers in the darkness. It was the sound of…
Nov 1, 2025 · 1:03:02
“Hey, Steve, how’s work going on that calendar?” “Oh, hey, Barry. It's going all right, but aren’t you worried this is a little vague?” “Whatever do you mean, Steve?” “Well, what…
Oct 24, 2025 · 53:14
Wizards have a long history, not just in movies, but in fiction generally. Whether they’re running a class action lawsuit just waiting to happen in the form of a deathtrap…
Oct 10, 2025 · 58:43
Stand back, coppers, I've got a brainwashed child and I'm not afraid to use it! How many times have you heard that phrase barked from the mouths of bank robbers and rum runners?…
Oct 3, 2025 · 1:13:03
You sleep through your alarm on the day of your big presentation, you leave your wallet at home the one day you decide to push the speed limit, your dad’s human illegal exotic…
Sep 27, 2025 · 1:02:06
Moving on can be hard for many reasons, but for those of us leaving behind disinterested parents, monthslong torture, and the deaths of most everyone we care about, consigning…
Sep 19, 2025 · 59:08
A star is born. Not because a mommy star and a daddy star loved each other very much, or even because a clump of matter and gas collapsed under its own gravity (I think), but…
Sep 13, 2025 · 58:30
Oh no! There’s been a glitch in the matrix, forcing the Wachowskis to reload their save! Thankfully they’ve backed up their data and can proceed with the first of two planned…
Sep 7, 2025 · 1:30:15
Ah, to be alive in the 60s. When reds hid under beds for reasons unknown, protestors in the street inquired as to the precise uses of war, and men arrived on the moon, decided it…
Aug 29, 2025 · 58:55
Pitiless cruelty. Vicious misanthropy. Terror in every eye, rumor in every mouth, escape on every mind. No, I’m not talking about my extremely hardcore bookclub, I’m talking…
Aug 22, 2025 · 1:02:30
I don't know about you, but the best part of my day is always coming home. Now, sure, the state of my residence is not always pristine, the neighbor plays dreadful anime music at…
Aug 15, 2025 · 1:06:08
I'm going to write this whole description without referencing the "inconceivable" joke, you watch. What on Earth are you talking about, I hear you ask, embarrassingly revealing…
Aug 8, 2025 · 1:08:53
All right, gotta write a new jokey, sarcastic description for the podcast. Let’s see what’s on the schedule. Prisoners, eh? Sounds like you’ll be doing hard time with that movie,…
Aug 1, 2025 · 1:25:01
Faster than a speeding bullet! Stronger than a locomotive! Able to leap buildings in a single bound! Struggling with depression and guilt over thousands of lives lost in the…
Jul 18, 2025 · 1:15:17
Action! Adventure! Red lines gliding across maps! These are the three essential hallmarks of an Indiana Jones flick, yet if there’s one thing the franchise has taught us, it’s…
Jul 11, 2025 · 1:16:38
This is all Nathan’s fault. Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com Donate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US Check out our blog for…
Jul 4, 2025 · 57:41
Where would we be without scientists? Why, without those brave men and women in labcoats, we’d still be in the center of the solar system, treating low spirits with leeches, and…
Jul 1, 2025 · 1:48:12
Ah, to be alive in the 70s. The age that saw the countercultural movement reach the height of its powers, the first bombardment of Star Wars’ conquest of human culture, and a…
Jun 20, 2025 · 55:18
Dads. I sure wish I had one. I’ve heard that they can be good for quite a lot, such as mowing the lawn, bringing home bacon, and ensuring televisions don’t go to waste. Of…
Jun 13, 2025 · 51:28
When aliens show up in movies, it’s usually either en masse, as part of a hostile invasion force, or, if they’re alone, as essentially a lost puppy that can teach some young…
Jun 10, 2025 · 1:31:27
Gadgets: improbable. Villain’s plans: impractical. Mission: impossible. For the past two decades the Mission: Impossible franchise has been a frequent installment in the summer…
May 30, 2025 · 1:03:48
Marriage. You can tell it’s a critical foundation of Western Civilization because of all the endearing names we use to refer to our spouses: the ball and chain, the old trouble…
May 23, 2025 · 1:03:53
Who among us has never heard of a man or woman who wanted to be in the movies? Movie stardom is a siren call for dreamers and doofuses the world over, for who wouldn’t want to…
May 16, 2025 · 1:01:25
When people are killed, when children go missing, when affairs are had, the detectives of the world step in and smoke, deduce, analyze, smoke, gather clues, smoke, fight, smoke,…
May 9, 2025 · 59:48
How much do you really know about your next door neighbor? I know that Greg might seem like an affable old man who putters around the garden and gives out carrot sticks on…
May 3, 2025 · 51:43
It’s-a-me, Mario! How many times have you heard those words, be they in the innumerable games that feature Nintendo’s most famous cash cow, or in the shrill falsetto of you and…
Apr 25, 2025 · 1:30:30
Music is nice, isn’t it? It’s one of the oldest art forms in human history, it crosses cultural boundaries, and it contains more sub-genres and niche interests than there are…
Apr 19, 2025 · 54:09
Cartoons. It may be hard to believe, but before they were a stable full of dead horses being optimistically flogged by the Fox network, cartoons were once the masters of a vast…
Apr 11, 2025 · 59:57
Computers. They’re honestly just the bane of my existence. When they’re not perishing to water , the most common element on the planet, they’re malfunctioning for reasons beyond…
Apr 4, 2025 · 1:30:04
Ah, to be alive in the 80s. An era of increasing digitization, designer drugs, and flagging dictatorships warming themselves on the dying embers of the Cold War. Like most…
Mar 14, 2025 · 1:04:32
Submarines. They’re like whales, but not as majestic and far more likely to destroy innocent boats, at least this century. Submarines are nice because when you’ve run out of…
Mar 7, 2025 · 1:03:20
It’s hard to be a teenager. Your body betrays you, society doesn’t trust you, your parents don’t understand you, and in the midst of all of this you’re asked to stake out an…
Feb 28, 2025 · 53:03
Australia, the land of the blue ringed octopus, the funnel web spider, the vicious drop bear, and the accent you're convinced you can nail, but in fact commit a hate crime every…
Feb 22, 2025 · 1:07:14
Vroom, vroom! Neeeeeooooowww, eeeeeeeeeeaaaa, KA-BOOM! Oh, excuse me, I didn’t see you there. I was just playing with my toy cars. It’s childish, I know, and I’ve been looking…
Feb 14, 2025 · 47:28
Consider the bicycle. Two wheels in a thin, metal frame, an uncomfortable seat, and a rusting bell to you, but to children, there once was a time when it represented freedom…
Feb 7, 2025 · 56:20
Hollywood has had a starring role in many of the productions it nursed to life. Be it the romantic ideal featured in The Fabelmans , the more wistfully realistic stylings of La…
Jan 31, 2025 · 1:01:05
If I may be the seventeenth person on the internet today to tell you: the MCU is on the ropes right now. Box office returns, critical scores, and audience affections are all…
Jan 24, 2025 · 56:45
Oil. Whether it’s powering war machines, spilling into the oceans, or drowning you in a dream, black gold doesn’t exactly have the best public image. But how can that be, I hear…
Jan 17, 2025 · 59:37
Who knows what lurks out in the near infinite darkness of space? Giant glowing babies? People with funny eyebrows and no emotions? A large, angry, purple dude with a love of…
Jan 11, 2025 · 1:35:17
Ah, to be alive in the 90s. A time when you could bathe in the glory of early Simpsons episodes, salute the progress being made in equality and democracy across the globe, and…
Jan 4, 2025 · 1:40:17
2024 hasn’t been a red letter year for the human race. War, polarization, and despair are all on the rise, and 2025 isn’t exactly set up for success. Fortunately, entertainment…
Dec 27, 2024 · 1:11:13
As 2024 breathes its last, wintry breaths and minds turn towards all the resolutions that need prompt breaking, let us take a moment to draw near to loved ones, be they romantic…
Dec 20, 2024 · 1:03:36
Everyone knows that zombies aren’t what they used to be. If anything, a decaying, shambolic corpse is probably the perfect metaphor for the genre as it exists right now:…
Dec 13, 2024 · 55:05
TBD
Dec 6, 2024 · 1:00:27
Power, oh man don’t you wish you just had some? Power, in whatever form be it political, cultural, or laser eyes, gives you access to neat stuff like respect, authority, and…
Nov 29, 2024 · 49:47
Everyone needs friends to get through life, that’s why I’m so miserable all the time. Friends lift us up when we’re low and congratulate us when we’re high (or give us a ride…
Nov 15, 2024 · 1:07:25
If you like dysentery, the old west is for you. If you like filth, the old west is for you. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to live utterly at the mercy of the…
Nov 8, 2024 · 56:02
There truly is nothing like crime to bring a family together. Why are criminal organizations organized by families? Why do family businesses that get big also commit massive…
Nov 1, 2024 · 57:28
As the month of wraiths draws to a close and we all look forward to the far calmer, gentler event of the American election day, stay just a little bit longer in the spooky season…
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