Parenting toddlers through power struggles: How to set limits, support independence, and reduce meltdowns with Devon Kuntzman

Devon Kuntzman, toddler expert and author of Transforming Toddlerhood, joins me to explain why the toddler years feel so intense and how understanding development can change everything.

 

Together we explore:

 

• How toddlerhood is defined by contradictory needs for independence and attachment and why this creates so much emotional volatility.
• How rapid cognitive, motor, and language development can leave toddlers feeling disoriented and overwhelmed.
• How to slow down power struggles using developmentally informed tools like asking "What's your plan?" and turning "no" into "not yet."
• Why helping toddlers organize their thinking supports regulation, impulse control, and cooperation.
• How parents can stay flexible, grounded, and confident while navigating a stage that naturally pushes everyone's limits.
• How to  grab your free spot in Devon's 9th Annual Transforming Toddlerhood Conference being held live virtually from March 11th-15th.

 

This episode is designed to help parents make sense of toddler behavior through a developmental lens, reduce self-blame, and walk away with practical strategies for setting limits while still supporting independence, emotional growth, and secure attachment.

 

 

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 Transforming Toddlerhood

 

🔗 Reserve your FREE spot in the Transforming Toddlerhood Conference  

 

🎧 Listen to Devon's first Securely Attached podcast episode about how to effectively set limits, stay calm, and parent with confidence in toddlerhood

 

📚 Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Handle Tantrums, End Power Struggles, and Raise Resilient Kids—Without Losing Your Mind

 

 

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@ transformingtoddlerhood

📱@ drsarahbren

 

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 94. Toddler sleep: Why it's different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep, with Eileen Henry

 

🎧 90. Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes: Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series

 

🎧 209. How can I get my toddler to share and play nicely with other kids?

 

🎧 231. BTS: How can I build my toddler's assertiveness skills?