[339] When Growth Feels Like Grief

The Side of Growth Nobody Talks About: When Choosing Yourself Hurts

What if setting the boundary was the right thing to do… but it still feels absolutely awful?

We talk a LOT about growth, healing, setting boundaries and choosing yourself.

But we don’t talk nearly enough about what happens after you start doing it.

The guilt.

The second-guessing.

The relationships that start to change.

The people who don’t understand the new version of you.

And the grief that can come with realizing that not everyone is meant to come with you.

In this episode of the Burn the Rule Book Summer Series, we’re talking about the side of personal growth that doesn’t usually make the highlight reel.

Because sometimes growth doesn’t feel like a breakthrough.

Sometimes it feels like a breakup.

You’re breaking up with the version of you who kept the peace.

The people pleaser.

The fixer.

The one who over-gave, over-explained and said yes when she really wanted to say no.

And when you stop playing the role everyone is used to you playing, not everyone is going to celebrate it.

That doesn’t automatically mean you’re doing something wrong.

In this episode, I’m talking about what really happens when you start setting boundaries, choosing yourself and raising the standards for your life, including:

• Why healthy boundaries can still feel painful, uncomfortable and even heartbreaking

• The guilt and second-guessing that can happen after you finally say no

• Why personal growth can change your friendships, family dynamics and other relationships

• The very real grief that comes with outgrowing people you love

• What happens when you stop being the fixer, people pleaser or peacekeeper

• Why becoming the “black sheep” might actually mean you’re the pattern breaker

• How to stop taking responsibility for other people’s reactions to your boundaries

• A simple journaling exercise to separate what’s yours from what’s theirs

• How to hold space for both grief AND growth as you become the person you want to be

If you’re in a season where you know you’re changing, but some of that change feels lonely, heavy or confusing, this episode is for you.

You can love someone and still need a boundary.

You can miss someone and still move forward.

You can grieve what was and still know you’re making the right decision for what comes next.

And you can choose yourself without apologizing for the person you’re becoming.

Your response is your responsibility. Their response is not.

🎧 Grab your headphones and listen to this one when you need the reminder that becoming more of yourself doesn’t require you to keep shrinking so everyone else can stay comfortable.

I can hold space for both grief and growth.I trust that what’s meant for me will never require me to shrink.

Ready to Finally Create That Course?

And speaking of choosing yourself and going after the thing you really want…

If creating a course has been sitting on your business wish list for months (or, ahem, years 👀), Course Creator Bootcamp is coming back this September.

This is for the business owner who has knowledge, experience and an idea she KNOWS could help people, but hasn’t quite turned it into an actual course yet.

Inside Course Creator Bootcamp, I’ll help you take that idea out of your head and turn it into a course you can actually launch and sell.

Because you don’t need another year of thinking about it, tweaking the idea or waiting until you feel 100% ready.

At some point, you have to back yourself and build the dang thing. 😂

👉 Join the Course Creator Bootcamp waitlist here.

And remember:

I can hold space for both grief and growth.I trust that what’s meant for me will never require me to shrink.