292. If She's Not Too Much, Why Am I? ft. Serena Kerrigan

Serena Kerrigan went on 50 blind first dates on Instagram Live, and she is still making the same argument she made then: most of us decide who a person is before we have met them. She and Ali get into the mirror work behind her new book, out this week, why “being chill” is not an attachment problem but a sign you are with the wrong person, and what they each used to reject people over. Serena would not date younger men, or men who do not drink. Her boyfriend is both.

Serena is the last expert guest of the public podcast, which makes this a full circle for Ali. She started chronicling her own dating life around the same time Serena started hers, and what stuck was watching someone younger refuse to apologize for who she was, and thinking, if she does not feel like she is too much, why do I?

Ali is in San Diego at her mom’s house for a longtime family friend’s wedding, and says ending the pod finally started to feel right this week. Two public episodes left. Submissions for the farewell episode with Roark and Erica close the morning of Friday, September 25.

This week’s Media Mention, the last one, is “Dating Apps Are Dying” in TIME. Ali uses it to dig into the rejection mindset: the longer you swipe, the more rejecting you get, and that is not a character flaw.

Where to find Serena: On Instagram @serenakerrigan, on TikTok @serenakerrigan. Her book Let’s F*cking Date is out now.

Timestamps: Serena joins us at around minute 15.

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