Watch two best friends try so hard not to kiss on this podcast we cannot believe we get paid to do. Welcome to The Mean Time with Jared Gaines and Patrick Gilchrist.
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Nov 13, 2026 · 52:45
LET'S CELEBRATE!! This week it is Jared's birthday!! Tune in to see what Pat gifted him and enjoy the festivities! Crusty Rhodes returns for an educational presentation on Hamlet…
Nov 6, 2026 · 52:50
How dumb is Pat? That's the question of the day and YOU decide. This week we see Jared & Pat reminisce on the week that has passed and discuss in depth what it's like to come…
Oct 30, 2026 · 52:36
Happy Halloween!!! Please give a warm mean machine welcome to our special guests this week - Langston & David from the "My Momma Told Me" Podcast. In this special Halloween…
Oct 23, 2026 · 52:50
Let this episode serve as a reminder that the views and opinions of Mr. John Patrick Gilchrist are not those of The Mean Time as a collective, as we reminisce on our high school…
Oct 16, 2026 · 52:58
This episode is a TRUE sequel!!!! The boys continue the Arby's saga and open Pat's eyes to a brand new world full of new opportunities (and heart burn). But that's not all! Jared…
Oct 9, 2026 · 51:58
You wanna know the secret to getting rid of a common cold? Jared's got the answers for you! Tune in this week to unveil the secret foods to cure your sicknesses, watch Pat get…
Oct 2, 2026 · 52:52
This week on The Mean Time, Jared & Pat are asking the REAL questions... Like, whats more important - athleticism or strength? What does it take to land a tray flip? What genre…
Sep 25, 2026 · 52:57
Yo, listen up, here's the story. About a big nosed freak that lives in a blue world!!!!!!! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information…
Sep 18, 2026 · 51:27
PAT IS BACK FROM TOUR!!!! Maybe next time Macklemore can tag along! We heard he just became available!!!!! We don't know yet though, just an idea.. Hosted by Simplecast, an…
Sep 11, 2026 · 52:09
Chiara is back and has a lot on her mind including the surprise of the century, how to celebrate Labor Day the way a true American should and what her favorite Dragon Ball Z…
Sep 4, 2026 · 52:34
Stick around for a massive surprise at the end of the episode and also we apologize for murdering Ikuyo. She didn't deserve it. AVAST YE MATEYS YA HAARRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!! Hosted by…
Aug 28, 2026 · 1:01:27
3, 6, 9! THE MEAN TIME! WE GONNA SOCK IT TO YA ONE MORE TIME! Sorry. Another absolute banger I gotta tell you these boys are on a roll so you can bet your bottom dollar the next…
Aug 21, 2026 · 52:36
The boys went crazy on this one. We're talking Smart House, Steven Seagal, Amber Alerts, and Rigid Lines all before Rocking The Dragon for like 10 minutes with a special phone…
Aug 14, 2026 · 52:04
WE GOT NICK BACK ON THE POD BABY!!! Talking DBZ, Sushi, Seth Rollins, and The Odyssey. Is Pat the dumbest person in the world or is Jared a genius? I'll give you a hint, one of…
Aug 7, 2026 · 52:33
SPIDER-MAN IS OUT AND THE BOYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT! Spoilers are an understatement so please proceed with caution but also go watch this movie are you out of your…
Jul 31, 2026 · 52:54
Soccer Moms is on the podcast and they are stealing the show! We're talking about blind horses, Italian folks, and how Sebastian Maniscalco gives Chicago a bad name! Hosted by…
Jul 24, 2026 · 54:08
The boys discuss Chris Nolan's The Odyssey and Jared has very reasonable responses to Patrick's super valid opinions on it. You know like a normal episode of The Mean Time. Also…
Jul 17, 2026 · 52:38
The boys discuss James Bond, The Matrix, The Lord Of The Rings, and Randy Rhodes... no not that one. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for…
Jul 10, 2026 · 51:30
Welcome to the Church of Jared Gaines of Latter-Day Saints! It is also a pyramid scheme and a cult, the details get fuzzy. Stick around, Patrick will most certainly be doing an…
Jul 3, 2026 · 52:36
WILL NEFF IS HERE AND HE IS WAY FUNNIER THAN US. This was a humbling 4th of July experience and if you see either one of us in an improv class after this just know that Will Neff…
Jun 27, 2026 · 51:31
THANK YOU FOR 2 YEARS OF THE MEAN TIME AND WELCOME TO THE CELEBRATION!!! The most jam packed, all killer no filler, wild and exciting episode yet BY FAR. The boys take turns…
Jun 19, 2026 · 52:51
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED BY PATRICK AND JARED ABOUT JACKIE CHAN ARE ALL INCORRECT AND SHOULD NOT REFLECT ON THE MAN'S LEGACY OR MAYBE THEY SHOULD BUT REGARDLESS DON'T LISTEN TO US.…
Jun 12, 2026 · 52:58
Jared gets Pat up to speed on the absolute SAGA that is Reckless Ben vs Bricks & Minifigs AND TELLS FUNNY JOKES LIKE HAHA FUNNY JOKES ABOUT BOMBS AND IT'S HAHA SO FUNNY JOKE…
Jun 9, 2026 · 50:34
THE BEAST INSIDE IS CHAINED NO LONGER. Watch the boys become the fallen angels they were always meant to be or something. Comment your favorite lyric to prove your inner darkness…
May 29, 2026 · 53:00
WHAT A HACK!!! Jared finds a bunch of really super healthy and sustainable ways to lose weight and that makes Patrick scared and jealous of his lifestyle and physique. Patrick is…
May 22, 2026 · 52:25
The boys celebrate their 100th episode with five puppies!!! And almost all of them lived so that's good! We do a little Q&A from our Patrons. Love ya'll, thank you for supporting…
May 15, 2026 · 52:50
Carter Ace joins the boys and they discuss Rush Hour, Madea, and Michael Jackson while Pat gets a much needed shave! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See…
May 8, 2026 · 52:35
Jared let's loose and that's a big mistake. Maybe Pat will ride off into the sunset on a Harley Davidson about it. Regardless the boys are talking Michael and Avengers Doomsday…
May 1, 2026 · 50:40
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Apr 24, 2026 · 50:37
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Apr 17, 2026 · 50:24
The boys are trapped in the Adirondacks and the only way out is to uhhh... The boys take a trip to Boston where everyone says uhhh... The boys think that all the Juggalos should…
Apr 10, 2026 · 52:59
WE APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING AND WE SERVE NO MASTER. Che Durena is on The Mean Time and Jared and Patrick have been fully stunlocked. I'd like to tell you what was said in this…
Apr 3, 2026 · 51:42
IT'S SO HAAAAARD TO SAY GOODBYEEEE TO BUTTERFREEEEEEE!!!! Welcome to Jared's newest hyper-fixation and Pat's newest nightmare! Watch the boys try to win over TBS to finally get…
Mar 27, 2026 · 52:47
(Patreon Shoutout is at 14:45) Well it finally happened. Pat set a swift pace that Jared just couldn't match. Audio listeners I want you to genuinely describe what you think Pat…
Mar 20, 2026 · 51:27
Pat does his best cougar impression while Jared recovers from a trip to the emergency room and the recent death of Mark the producer! Tropic Thunder is the greatest movie ever…
Mar 13, 2026 · 49:12
Stand Up Comedian Wyatt Feegrado AKA Jesus Christ of Nazareth has joined the podcast and shockingly brings up Pokemon before Pat gets a chance! Strap in for a wild ride while the…
Mar 6, 2026 · 52:59
GUESS WHO'S BACK BACK BACK, BACK AGAIN GAIN GAIN, JARED'S BACK BACK BACK, TELL A FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND!!! Everyone report to the podcast studio and witness Pat dressed up in a…
Feb 28, 2026 · 51:13
I'M SEEING DOUBLE. Honey Revenge joins Patrick for the last day of Black History Month. LETS GO. Have fun! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com…
Feb 21, 2026 · 52:47
Gabe and Luke from the podcast TRAPPED ON THE INTERNET join Patrick while Jared is gone! So much check out their show and socials! I'll see ya with another special guest next…
Feb 13, 2026 · 52:06
Come with us on an adventure from ancient Egypt to Babylon all the way to Macedonia because Jared got it confused with Mesopotamia! We're talkin kinks! We're talkin 9/11! Tony…
Feb 6, 2026 · 52:59
"Belle Delphine sells her bath water one time and now I can't wear sandals!" STRAP IN MEANIES THE DOGS ARE OUT. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See…
Jan 30, 2026 · 52:09
Expanding the Mangoose Cinematic Universe, Old Sauce and White Wolf enter the fray! Honestly this one is a bit front loaded A BIT TOP HEAVY you could say. Stick around until the…
Jan 23, 2026 · 52:13
EARNING OUR PAYCHECKS WITH THIS ONE FOLKS. Hey, you kids remember 2003? I sure hope you do, otherwise none of this is going to make any friggin sense. SLOP IS OUT BY THE WAY…
Jan 16, 2026 · 52:58
Get ready for a RAD and EXTREME TIME here at The Mean Time! Jared goes full Chinese while Pat lurks on the playground and Jaws stomps a fat ollie from the CN Tower! SAIL! Hosted…
Jan 9, 2026 · 52:22
The Mangoose Rises and the Slop is endless. This city reeks of sin, and somebody is stealing all of the Cobra Converters. Local law enforcement is dragging their feet, slumped…
Jan 2, 2026 · 52:24
Welcome back to another episussy of The Mean Tussy! Patrussy and Jarussy talk Avatussy, Matthew McConaughussy, and of course, The New Yussy! Sorry. Hosted by Simplecast, an…
Dec 26, 2025 · 52:52
HAPPY BOXING DAY FROM THE MEAN TIME TO YOU! This is easily our raunchiest episode yet so apologies to our parents and future children. Unfortunately this episode is so graphic…
Dec 20, 2025 · 52:05
Hey guys, Jared here. Converting to Buddhism is no laughing matter. I'd like to set the record straight by apologizing for my jokes about the Buddha and his teachings, my…
Dec 13, 2025 · 52:17
PAT IS BACK! Warning: The stunts in this podcast were performed by professionals, so for your safety and the protection of those around you, do not attempt any of the stunts…
Dec 6, 2025 · 52:52
We set the record straight on Patrick's thoughts on women as well as Patrick's straightness... Jared and Pat are back together next week LET GO Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz…
Nov 29, 2025 · 52:39
THE MEAN TIME ON THE ROAD BABYYY! Patrick sits down with his new friends in Action/Adventure. Head on over to YouTube there's a lot of visuals in this one. Hosted by Simplecast,…
Nov 21, 2025 · 52:38
Aunty Koala and Father Time spend their final day together before she tragically boards a United Airlines flight to the land down under. Movie reviews, a terrible birthday…
Nov 14, 2025 · 52:19
¡MI AMOR! Welcome to another episode of...how you say... ¡THE MEAN TIME! We are burning with the intense passion of an oven set to 500 degrees... ¡CELSIUS! Join us for an hour of…
Nov 7, 2025 · 52:38
First of all, a big thank you to Bearpunch for hosting us at their beautiful studio, they made us look incredible. Second of all, IT'S KOALA TIME because Chiara is here as a…
Oct 31, 2025 · 52:57
Jared gets so passionate that his microphone can't even handle the sheer charisma and malfunctions so hard that the whole entire episode sounds crispy crunchy! Happy Halloween,…
Oct 24, 2025 · 52:57
A very special and interesting and fun episode is coming at you and you think it is very fun and special and interesting. In fact, it may be your favorite episode of this show to…
Oct 17, 2025 · 52:47
You had it too good for too long, dirtbags. The boys are turning heel and not even MarcTheFrog and his egg collection can save you. Now let's see if we can manage to keep Pat…
Oct 10, 2025 · 52:32
WE'RE GOING TO BANGKOK (Sorry Brazil) Welcome to our new temporary podcast space! It's a small box made of glass and felt and there's a guy that walks around looking at us and…
Oct 6, 2025 · 52:18
This one right here goes out to all the baby's mamas' mamas, mamas, mamas, baby mamas' mamas, and the rest of the women all over the world. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz…
Sep 26, 2025 · 52:19
Jared is TICKED OFF and Pat doesn't know why. I wonder if it has anything to do with the Mooseman? Regardless, if you go to Jimmy John's, don't shame yourself by getting a pizza…
Sep 19, 2025 · 52:48
The Mean Time is not responsible for any botched Portuguese because everyone tried real hard and we love Brazil. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See…
Sep 12, 2025 · 52:56
Jared pays his and Pat's rent with more loud obnoxious singing bits in maybe the first fully music-focused episode of a show that was supposed to be about music. Hosted by…
Sep 5, 2025 · 50:56
Aaron Gillespie of Underoath kicks it with the boys and talks smack about a few very high profile music industry professionals. However, we decided to cut all of that out to…
Aug 29, 2025 · 52:05
A COUPLE OF FRESH AND FINE LOOKIN BOYS HAVE ABDUCTED AND REPLACED OUR HOSTS AND SENT THEM TO THE CHROMITE MINES WHERE THEY WILL LIVE OUT THE REST OF THEIR DAYS IN TORMENT AND…
Aug 22, 2025 · 52:22
We took 160,000 rowdy college girls from Miami Beach and through a combined air, land, and sea assault, facilitated the largest amphibious invasion in the history of warfare and…
Aug 15, 2025 · 52:22
The boys are on one wild ride! Crusty Rhodes makes his in-ring debut against Crick Flair, Olive Garden is serving bottomless AI pasta, and Valjean spills Jared's darkest secrets…
Aug 8, 2025 · 52:58
You've heard of The Mean Time. You've even heard of The Jean Time. But this summer... nothing can prepare you for... THE GREEN TIME. Will the madness ever end? When will we wake…
Aug 1, 2025 · 51:16
We don’t jean to offend anyone with this episode of The Jean Time. We tried to keep this one nice and jean for you guys. Never in our wildest jeans did we ever think we’d get to…
Jul 25, 2025 · 52:59
Rest in peace to the Oz-Man who was the lead singer of Metallica and who’s biggest song is Bohemian Rhapsody and I apologize for Pat’s lack of knowledge about literally…
Jul 18, 2025 · 52:13
We shot an episode outside because we’re so ambitious. The audio sounds like ass because we wanted to reach for the stars. One camera on the video this week because we wanted to…
Jul 11, 2025 · 52:48
Pat sniffs out an early screening of Superman and meets the cast at a Hollywood red carpet event while Jared weighs himself down on the Go Kart track by eating a whole mess of…
Jul 4, 2025 · 52:30
JAYCE ON THE PODCAST! We’re talking Animorphs, Star Wars, and wait… What’s that at the end of the episode…? The post GET IN THE BLEACH BATH appeared first on idobi . Hosted by…
Jun 27, 2025 · 52:31
Jared and Pat celebrate ONE WHOLE YEAR of the podcast, ONE WHOLE YEAR of fun, and ONE WHOLE YEAR of getting away with stealing babies all around the world! The post ONE YEAR…
Jun 20, 2025 · 52:24
Jared watches a bunch of Digimon and then has to eat a slice of humble pie while typing this description because it’s actually really good. Special thanks to JB for having a big…
Jun 13, 2025 · 52:14
Jared had a coffee and Nick is here with a cat and Pat’s nose is HUGE! Also we respond to being posted in the H3H3 subreddit and Jared tells some stories about teenage…
Jun 6, 2025 · 52:28
The boys take on some serious political topics including the Ukraine War, the ongoing Israeli/Palestinian Conflict, and BONKing their manhood with a cartoon mallet. The post…
May 30, 2025 · 52:21
I hope you’re very well aware of who Sebastian Maniscalco is because if not, this episode will make absolutely no sense to you. Good luck and praise God. The post WHAT? appeared…
May 23, 2025 · 52:00
This week’s episode was brought to you by Dragon D’s and was originally aired at SawCon. We’d like to thank our special guests, Bofa and Eden, and we’d like to remind you that…
May 16, 2025 · 52:11
We sincerely hope that you enjope this new episope all about the pope from chicagope OH GOOD GOD IS THAT GRAVEDIGGER??? AW YEAAAAHHH!!! The post SPINNERS ON DA POPE-MOBILE…
May 6, 2025 · 52:28
Jared hears a wild new DJO song about stealing babies, Pat imagines what WW2 would be like in the 1980s, and the boys discuss the political and economic state of the world right…
Apr 29, 2025 · 52:11
If you thought we were kidnapping babies house to house 2 weeks in a row, you’d be dead wrong. We’re eating them now. Buy a shirt. The post LOUISIANA BABY BOIL appeared first on…
Apr 22, 2025 · 52:11
That should be me, stealing your child. That should be me, let me have it for a while. This is so wrong, this ain’t a song, give it to meeeeeee! The post TRICK QUESTION, YOUR…
Apr 15, 2025 · 51:49
Jared teaches Pat how to become a high value male for like 45 minutes and then just explodes all over him for the grand finale. The post B.U.S.T.E.D. appeared first on idobi .…
Apr 8, 2025 · 52:13
We got a heater for you this week and papas want to play a game with you. If you can count exactly how many IP references we make in this episode, you could win an extended stay…
Apr 1, 2025 · 52:24
Please eat food while enjoying this episode. It’s not as funny, entertaining, or otherwise unless you have a mouthful of something tasty and maybe a bit sloppy, maybe a nice…
Mar 25, 2025 · 52:05
Apologies to the audio listeners, this one is almost exclusively visual bits so just use your imagination! The post WELCOME TO BRODYBUCKS appeared first on idobi . Hosted by…
Mar 18, 2025 · 52:22
This week on The Mean Time Action News: Jared reports on an ongoing alien invasion in Oklahoma, Patrick stalks and ambushes an imposter Jon Bellion in a Starbucks, and rapper…
Mar 11, 2025 · 52:02
O, weary traveler, thy journey is fair and true but to continue on thine path, riddles three must be answered. Firstly, when doth the sale cometh for Nike sneakers, white as…
Mar 4, 2025 · 51:33
You know how sometimes you wanna treat yourself so you buy a nice steak to cook for dinner but you don’t usually cook steak and you burn it and over season it but it’s still a…
Feb 25, 2025 · 52:43
GUESS WHO’S BACK BACK BACK BACK AGAIN GAIN GAIN JARED’S BACK BACK BACK TELL A FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND The post WE SHOULD BE MORE LIKE NORTH KOREA appeared first on idobi . Hosted by…
Feb 18, 2025 · 53:47
UPSAHL IS HERE! Jared is still down under. Find out if Pat knows how to talk to girls! (he doesn’t) The post COOCH ON MAIN appeared first on idobi . Hosted by Simplecast, an…
Feb 11, 2025 · 51:52
JARED IS GONE! DON’T CLICK OFF, DON’T CLICK OFF! GIVE US A CHANCE. I KNOW I’M JUST ON THE PODCAST AS EYE CANDY BUT WE CAN BE FUNNY TOO I SWEAR. The post WE CAN’T BE HELD LIABLE…
Feb 4, 2025 · 51:47
There once was a man with a kink, whose nose was so big it could think. He’d stick that nose between his toes and splooge as fast as a blink! Subscribe to our Patreon. The post…
Jan 28, 2025 · 51:51
.I.. (-_-) ..I. .I.. (-_-) ..I. .I.. (-_-) ..I. .I.. (-_-) ..I. .I.. (-_-) ..I. .I.. (-_-) ..I. The post DITS OR TICKS appeared first on idobi . Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz…
Jan 21, 2025 · 51:37
aoc vore andrew garfield pregnant vore gushing vore horseman lucario vore-k futa aoc garfield andrew vore pregnant vore The post THE VORE HORSEMEN appeared first on idobi .…
Jan 14, 2025 · 52:33
Now dig this. You just stepped into the smoothest episode yet, so wipe your shoes if they’re wet. We’re keeping it funky and groovy for the third Now You See Me movie. Now relax…
Jan 7, 2025 · 52:56
We breakdance on Nosferatu’s thang, Pat considers dance lessons, and Big Bad Jawed is afwaid of a wittw bitty snake. Plus, a New Year’s resolution segment from the Meanie Babies…
Dec 31, 2024 · 52:47
WE SHOVELED SH*T SO HIGH IN THE DESERT WE COULDN’T TELL IF IT WAS MUD. JUST FOR SOME LIB RECEPTACLES TO DICHOT ON A SOLDIER WHO FOUGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS. IT MAKES ME AT NAUSEOUS.…
Dec 18, 2024 · 52:13
In Game 5 of the ’97 NBA Finals, Michael Jordan willed his way to a victory, scoring 38 points while suffering from the flu. Now, in Episode 27 of The Mean Time, Jared faces…
Dec 17, 2024 · 51:45
Here’s a list of the top 10 highest paid CEOs of 2024! Jon Winkelried, Harvey Schwartz, Hock Tan, Nikesh Arora, Sue Nabi, George Mattson, Stephen Schwarzman, Christopher Winfrey,…
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