Morning 6-Pack - 6 Things I’d Make Restaurants Ban (Phones Are Just Round One)

Phones are wrecking restaurant vibes, so I'm all for phone-free sections, lockable pouches, or even bribing families with free ice cream to keep the glowboxes out. Feels like we're sliding from "smoking or non‑smoking" to "cell phone or non‑cell phone," and honestly, I kinda love it. On today's Morning 6-Pack I crack open six other things restaurants should dump besides phones. I roast stuff like that 25% tip button, jump‑scare vibrating plastic coasters, and ketchup bottles that are basically souvenir empties. I won't spoil the top pick — you'll have to stick around for that mic drop — but expect quick, sarcastic takes and a few laughs about people on speakerphone ruining your mozzarella sticks.

Takeaways:

• I riff on restaurants needing cell-phone-free zones, lockable pouches, and even bribes like free ice cream.
• We joke phones are basically being compared to cigarettes now, so maybe a dedicated non-phone section makes sense.
• I run a quick Morning 6-Pack of other dumb restaurant annoyances, but I don't spoil the big finale here.
• Examples include ditching the jacked-up 25% tip button, those jumpy plastic pagers, and the Pepsi-not-Coke swaps.
• I roast tiny ketchup bottles and cringe-worthy half-hearted Happy Birthday performances — total mood killers at dinner.