Morning 6-Pack - Six Stickers Carnival Should Try

Tipping has officially lost its mind — Carnival’s testing a “crew love” sticker you get when you prepay your gratuities, and I’m here to mock the whole kindergarten-gold-star-for-adults energy. I joke about being 58 on a boat who paid $3,000 getting a sticker like it’s some kind of merit badge. We ask the obvious: what happens to the people without stickers — do they get the used shuffleboard-towel service? So I roll out a fast Morning 6-Pack of other stickers cruise lines should use to keep everyone honest, and yeah, it’s petty and hilarious. I drop a couple of the more ridiculous examples — think “hot tub urinator” and “I eat my weight in crab legs” — but I’m not ruining the big finale. It’s short, snarky, and exactly the kind of nonsense you want with your morning coffee.

Takeaways:

• I dunk on Carnival's new 'crew love' prepaid-tip sticker and how tipping culture's totally outta control.
• We toss out jokey sticker ideas like 'hot tub urinator' and 'I eat my weight in crab legs' for laughs.
• I joke that stickers might start dividing passengers and even change service, like a towel hierarchy.
• In our Morning 6-Pack I zip through six silly sticker ideas fast, mixing sarcasm and goofy exaggeration.
• We purposely keep the number-one sticker as the big punchline, so you gotta tune in to hear it.