Morning 6-Pack - Six lazy ways to 'clean' your house

We still do the same lazy cleaning shortcuts we learned as kids — and I’m counting down the Morning 6-Pack: six hilarious ways people “clean” without actually cleaning. A new survey even says the average American leans on about five of these hacks — 40% just spray air freshener to mask smells, 37% light a candle, and a bunch of us make the bed while the rest of the room looks like a cyclone or shove everything in a closet. So yeah, adulthood = nicer furniture to hide your mess, not more responsibility. I riff through goofy ideas like painting your shower black to match the mold, adopting a long-tongued dog and squirting syrup on fixtures, and yes, even strapping a Swiffer to a cat and busting out the laser pointer. I save the wildest one for last — trust me, you’ll want to hear the finale.

Takeaways:

• We talked about a survey where 40% of people just spray air freshener instead of finding the smell.
• I point out that 37% light candles, which is not cleaning but putting tiny decorative fires next to problems.
• We laugh that the average American uses five cleaning shortcuts, basically patch jobs instead of actual cleaning work.
• I joke that adulthood isn't about responsibility — it's about getting better furniture to hide the messes.
• Our Morning 6-Pack serves up absurd shortcuts like taping a Swiffer to the cat and syrup-on-fixtures chaos.
• We keep the biggest twist for last, so I won't spoil the number-one punchline here.