Morning 6-Pack - Six Hilarious New Names for Artificial Intelligence (I couldn't help it)

I count down six better names for artificial intelligence after Trump floated renaming it — because apparently renaming rivers wasn’t enough. I say “artificial intelligence” is a weird combo: “artificial” sounds fake and “intelligence” sounds human, so it’s all mixed messages. We even asked AI for suggestions like Digital Intelligence and Synthetic Reasoning, but those felt kinda boring, so I whipped up my own goofy branding. The whole bit is fast, snarky, and definitely morning-radio silly — think quick jokes, puns, and me doing branding on the fly. I won’t give away the top pick here though — you’ll have to listen for the crown jewel and my plea to not get offed by it.

Takeaways:

• I said AI is a dumb name — sounds fake and also too human, we roasted it.
• We joked about Trump wanting "Supreme Intelligence" — sounds like a soda flavor, lol.
• I explained modern AI is mainly advanced statistical pattern matching and prediction, not human understanding.
• We ran through funny rebrands — Brainy McBrain Face, Crunchwrap, Know-It-All, Future Overlord — pure chaos.
• I reminded folks branding matters; honest names like "engineered intelligence" are accurate but boring, so we meme'd it.