72. Defensiveness: The Third Horseman Sabotaging Your Relationship | Road of Life Podcast

Road of Life Podcast Episode 72

 

Ever feel attacked and instantly throw up your guard? 🛡️

Defensiveness—blame-shifting, excuse-making, playing the victim—is the third toxic habit in our Four Horsemen series (thanks, Gottmans!). It’s sneaky, it’s destructive, and we’ve both been guilty. 

How to swap excuses for ownership (spoiler: “I’ll set a reminder next time” beats “You didn’t remind me!”).

The 200% Marriage Mindset: Taking 100% responsibility (even when it’s hard).

Simple fixes:

✅ Pause before reacting—stretch that moment between stimulus and response.

✅ Reframe conflicts as team challenges (not personal attacks).

✅ Ask: “What story am I telling myself here?” 

 

Truth bomb: Defensiveness keeps you stuck. Responsibility sets you free.

 

Action step: Next time you feel defensive, try “You’re right. How can I fix this?”

 

PS: Ready to squash all four horsemen? Join our Infinite Relationship Mastermind—where growth meets grace

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Resources:

Viktor Frankl quote regarding stimulus and response : "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

 

Instagram@meredithandcraig: https://www.instagram.com/meredithandcraig 

Infinite Relationship Mastermind:

https://www.thefinalpercent.com/infinite-relationship-mastermind