The Stars Aren't Alright is an Actual Play comedy/horror podcast, blending the Lovecraftian mythos with a far future, sci fi setting. The Keeper, Brian, uses the Call of Cthulhu TTRPG system to lead Alex, Catherine, Tom, and Leah through a series of mysterious events, unfolding into eldritch horror that stretches their character's sanity - and, in the end, learning that the true reality bending beings from outside time and space were the friends we made along the way. Find us everywhere at linktree.com/thestarsarentalright (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our j...
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Sep 29, 2026 · 1:21:41
Tom once again yanks the reins to this nano-carriage as he leads us back in time while being forward in time to the pastoral planet of Ambrosia, where we meet Lolli (Leah),…
Sep 6, 2026 · 1:35:11
Join Joint, Frog, Sexy Dan, and Chipper as they complete the mad mental maze made most manifest by Miskatonic Tech...(This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language,…
Aug 9, 2026 · 1:29:07
Meet Joint (Kat), Frog (Tom), Sexy Dan (Jessie), and Chipper (Brian) as our fearless Gaykeeper (Leah) leads us into a labyrinth of experimentation and grief - and, in true…
Jul 12, 2026 · 2:28:31
In this recap of season 3, we discuss the ups and downs, forwards and backwards of The New Meta. Questions from each other, questions from you, our lovely listeners - all to the…
Jun 21, 2026 · 1:16:30
Juno makes several Persuade rolls. Glade does what she has to. Alastar shows off his piloting skills. Barron attempts rocket science. In the dark conclusion to season 3, our crew…
Jun 14, 2026 · 1:32:57
The crew of the Violet King Henry talks about tubes - and comes to a fateful decision about their path forward in Part 1 of our Season 3 Finale...(This podcast contains scenes of…
May 31, 2026 · 27:41
Enjoy this brief, spoiler heavy recap of Season 3, episodes 1-12! We're in the process of getting episode 13 recorded, and we can't wait to bring that to you. In the meantime,…
May 17, 2026 · 1:53:46
The crew undertakes a dramatic rescue - all while certain doom approaches from orbit. Glade and Alastar make an agreement. Barron plays with a big tube. Juno is a wizard. (This…
May 3, 2026 · 1:56:49
Alastar and Glade learn of a devious and brilliant plan to get past the Navy. Juno and Barron bond over their convalescence. Things get desperate for our increasingly ragged…
Apr 19, 2026 · 1:54:57
Finally reunited, our team makes good their escape from Rita's N'Gurath LTD building. Juno and Barron fight for their lives, while Glade and Alastar also fight for Juno and…
Apr 5, 2026 · 1:50:57
Chaos ensues as Naval remnants descend. Glade contemplates the psychology of wardrobe. Juno warms herself with old flames. Barron greets an unexpected visitor. Alastar, in a…
Mar 22, 2026 · 1:28:20
Alastar engages in Kutainian diplomacy. Glade, Juno, Barron, Creed, and Mike all learn about physics. Doug gets to sit in a truck! (This podcast contains scenes of violence,…
Mar 8, 2026 · 1:49:57
Glade and Alastar wade through fire and blood for their friends. Juno and Barron wade through luxury and vulnerability to make a new friend. Creed and Doug try to keep up with…
Feb 22, 2026 · 1:51:09
In this brief, cannon, and lore-heavy aside from Season 3's main cast, join Taylor, Mistress Sin, Cassandra, Griswold, and Jarnne...Jennr...Yawna...Rob's character as they escape…
Feb 8, 2026 · 1:49:59
Barron tries to lie a lot. Juno makes a credit rating check. Glade attempts diplomacy. Alastar gets offended. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if…
Jan 25, 2026 · 2:00:52
Our team makes the trip to the Baha system, to the planet of Mahm-bo V. The crew meets the Navy. Juno meets an old "friend". Barron speaks fluent Mean Girl. Glade goes shopping.…
Jan 15, 2026 · 2:20:32
Glade works on her mechanics, Juno works on her weaving, Barron works on his science, and everyone else works on manual labor. The crew decides their next destination, realizing…
Dec 21, 2025 · 1:14:14
Join us as we perfectly recreate the best Christmas movie of all time - DIE HARD! Again, it's perfect. A 1:1 recreation. SEASON 3 WILL RESUME IN JANUARY, BE NOT AFRAID. Happy…
Dec 14, 2025 · 1:57:54
Glade and Alastar gamble with money and their lives. Barron gambles with his well-being to connect with Creed. Juno gets a new job. Doug suffers nonsense with grace. (This…
Nov 30, 2025 · 2:36:40
The crew deals with the fallout of their foray into each other's memories. Glade and Juno spend time together. Barron and Alastar have differing culinary tastes. Doug and Creed…
Nov 16, 2025 · 2:14:29
Welcome back for Season 3, folks! Join Alastar, Juno, Barron, and our favorite tortured and masked mercenary, as our crew navigates the reality of apocalypse, and something even…
Nov 9, 2025 · 1:15
We can't wait to bring you season 3 of The Stars Aren't Alright - full episode coming next week! (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our…
Oct 31, 2025 · 1:12:55
Tough decisions, boot lube, and extraordinary violence; what more could you possibly ask for? Join us as we conclude Season 2.5 in classic TSAA fashion - I'll leave it up to you…
Oct 26, 2025 · 1:31:54
The crew explores intuitive parking options in Tortuga. We meet Bruce, Grace's brother. There's a library. The crew makes a fateful decision...(This podcast contains scenes of…
Oct 19, 2025 · 2:02:12
Marmot finds connection in unexpected places. Maeve and Lara look out for each other. Bean climbs and Mawl Eah...well, Mawl Eah does her own thing. Abby remains insane and Celery…
Oct 12, 2025 · 1:58:42
Mawl-Eah practices defensive driving. Bean gets to climb something. Lara and Maeve discuss family. Marmot warms up to new ideas. Also, there's some eye stuff so go in warily if…
Oct 5, 2025 · 1:52:52
We join the Anserina once more as Mawl-Eah and Maeve make good their escape from Gorto City. Meanwhile, in a whole other star system, Lara and Bean deal with the realities of…
Sep 21, 2025 · 1:37
Coming soon to a Gigatheatre Holoplex near you! (Listen to Seasons 1 and 2 of The Stars Aren't Alright - Season 3 coming soon!) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more…
Aug 27, 2025 · 1:19:40
(SEASON 2 SPOILERS ABOUND) In the thrilling conclusion to Catherine's season 2 oneshot, we find out whether Maxwell (Caleb), Clitus (Brian), RKQ (Leah), and Spedy Stev (Alex)…
Aug 11, 2025 · 2:03:03
(SEASON 2 SPOILERS ABOUND) Join Maxwell (Caleb Ellsworth-Clark), Speedy Stev (Alex), RKQ(Leah), and Clitus (Brian) as they attempt to complete a complicated heist after the…
Jul 7, 2025 · 1:45:47
Rejoin Charles (Brian), Nikki (Leah), Gothar (Karlyn), and Dicky (Jess) as they try to escape the void, and the horrors therein (Tom). We conclude this particular Season 2…
Jun 22, 2025 · 1:24:54
Tom leads us into the dark void of contract work in his second oneshot! Join Gothar, Nikki, "Dr." Dicky, and Charles as they near the end of their 10 year contract - special…
Jun 1, 2025 · 2:10:29
SPOILERS ABOUND IN THIS EPISODE - DO NOT LISTEN UNTIL YOU HAVE FINISHED SEASON 2 OR YOU'LL EXPLODE. In this recap episode, the cast talks about their favourite clips from Season…
May 18, 2025 · 2:23:05
In the season finale, our team is stuck between bad and worse choices, and the fate of the surviving residents of Gate City hangs in the balance...(This podcast contains scenes…
May 4, 2025 · 2:26:04
Glade resolves a workplace conflict. Juno tries to game the system. Alastar just wants to phone home. Barron holds hands. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult…
Apr 20, 2025 · 1:58:06
GC News sends out a controversial message. The crew engages in some light looting. There's a fort made of baby mannequins. Glade faces a tough choice, and decides to smooch about…
Apr 13, 2025 · 33:56
In this short interlude, we take questions from our fans! Any questions we didn't get to will be answered in greater depth in our Season 2 recap that we'll record when Season 2…
Apr 8, 2025 · 51:55
Juno learns some unfortunate truths about the Church of His Light. Alastar sees the light. Glade is a determined guard dog. It gets real in this one, team. (This podcast contains…
Mar 30, 2025 · 59:42
Glade shoots her shot. Alastar observes a transformation. Juno can't quite put her finger on the situation. Pyotr, on the other hand, gets to the thrust of the matter. (This…
Mar 16, 2025 · 2:03:57
Glade and Alastar use teamwork to overcome obstacles. Juno practices conflict resolution. Pyotr practices alternative medicine. Long jackets, gunfire, explosions, and space…
Mar 3, 2025 · 2:17:51
Is the Paladin the BBEG of the campaign? Is it Doug? Nope, it's scheduling conflicts, as always. Fortunately, we're joined by Karlyn and Oscar for Episode 8.5 - a glimpse at what…
Feb 16, 2025 · 2:03:11
Alastar and Glade get the best medical care organized crime has to offer. Juno meets a fan. Pyotr decides to get some yield from the curve. Doug phones in briefly. (This podcast…
Feb 2, 2025 · 2:00:50
Pyotr sets the stage for his big speech with Doug's help. Juno comes to terms with why she's here. Glade decides to dance. Alastar submits a complaint to HR (with references).…
Jan 20, 2025 · 2:00:43
Juno and Pyotr contemplate some light reading. Glade takes charge once again. Alastar is here for the vibes. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if…
Jan 5, 2025 · 2:17:11
Juno contemplates hypnosis. Glade keeps her mask on while taking her mask off. Alastar networks while on a work trip. Pyotr and Doug speculate on real estate - tactically. (This…
Dec 24, 2024 · 1:01:07
SEASON 1 SPOILERS - IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED SEASON 1, GIVE THIS A MISS UNTIL YOU DO. In this non-canon aside, the cast drinks a bunch of egg nog and tries to recreate A Christmas…
Dec 22, 2024 · 1:57:34
Pyotr traumatizes hospital staff. Juno and Glade carpool. Alastar takes a detour to diss an old man before getting a bad performance review from his boss. (This podcast contains…
Dec 8, 2024 · 2:02:47
We decide we're going to learn more about Pyotr's backstory, even if we have to put him in a medically induced coma to do it. Juno and Glade's reunion doesn't go the way we all…
Nov 24, 2024 · 1:56:41
The crew makes their way back to where it all started - Gate City, baby. Juno, Pyotr, and Alastar debate with Siri. The Mask tries to bond with Juno. Doug tries to be a…
Nov 10, 2024 · 2:14:15
WE'RE SO BACK, BABY! Meet Alastar Bran - an enormous CORPSEC agent with a penchant for violence and an anime-inspired loadout. The familiar faces - Juno, Pyotr, The Mask, and…
Oct 27, 2024 · 3:05:16
Marmot, Maeve, MawlEah and Celery finish up Season 1.5 in style - boot wings included. Reeling from revelations, feeling the crushing weight of corporate greed, and unnerved by…
Oct 20, 2024 · 2:06:33
Marmot, Maeve, and MawlEah investigate Lucas Firinn's apartment. Celery keeps watch with eyes big and small. We stay on brand with more sci-fi lube content, and you know what…
Oct 13, 2024 · 2:11:15
The crew of the Anserina makes their way to an allegory for late stage capitalis- I mean, Stevald IV in their search for Maeve's lost sister, Abigail. Celery uses vanity to get…
Oct 6, 2024 · 2:27:17
Join the crew of the Anserina - Maeve, Marmot, MawlEah, and Celery - as they pursue a contract for their mysterious benefactor, The Officer. An engineer, a hacker, a socialite…
Sep 30, 2024 · 0:54
Curious about what you're in for with The Stars Aren't Alright? So are we! Have a quick listen, and then have a longer listen - described as "Absurdist Horror", fans of Aliens,…
Sep 22, 2024 · 3:15:50
The horse traps? Knitted. The customers? On hold. The Phil? Collins'd. The Lord's? Justice. Join Cathy, Lonestar, Howie and Craig as they finally discover who is responsible for…
Sep 8, 2024 · 2:04:02
Cathy, Lonestar, Craig, and Howie delve deeper into the mysteries of the Call Center. A Caesar cypher makes all of us confront our fragile masculinity. Brian gets to recycle a…
Aug 25, 2024 · 2:37:07
Catherine leads us into the godless pit of despair that is customer service in the Call Center of Cthulhu! Join Howie (Brian), Craig (Alex), Cathy (Leah), and Lonestar (Tom) as…
Jul 28, 2024 · 2:38:38
After the planetary landing went sideways, we meet up with our Extreme Tour Guides Sidd, Marco, Adella, and Buddy the Bear on the surface of Radwin V. Things get spooky as the…
Jul 14, 2024 · 2:25:35
Join Marco, Adella, Sidd, and Buddy the Bear - elite tour guides with Astral Adventures LLC - as Tom Keepers us all down to the surface of Radwin V, to lead some rich people on a…
Jun 23, 2024 · 1:46:13
Our gals continue their unintentional spelunking through the cave of horrors in the bloodcurdling conclusion to our GayKeeper series. Brigitte demonstrates how well she can…
Jun 9, 2024 · 1:52:05
This time we hand Leah the reins, as she leads Brian, Tom, Alex, and our new friend James in a dark and scary cave, for what is probably the third-worst bachelorette party you've…
May 12, 2024 · 3:02:28
We give Alex the reins, and he leads us to glory (chaos) and (mis)adventure! As would-be transfers to the prestigious Knockleberry College of Swordsmanship, Spellerey and…
Apr 16, 2024 · 3:05:25
Keeper and cast unite to discuss season one while we get progressively sillier, until the whole thing devolves into nonsense (even more so than usual). Join us while we discuss…
Apr 15, 2024 · 2:33:49
Religious Extremists? Check. Wanted Terrorists? Check. The Puddle? Check. Our flimsy plastic bag of humanity makes a desperate attempt to escape Gizen-Sha station in our season 1…
Mar 17, 2024 · 2:14:08
Glade gets in touch with her inner child. Juno realizes our 'ship is sailing through some rough waters. Pyotr decides what he's gonna be when he grows up. Lift tells chatGPT to…
Mar 3, 2024 · 2:51:37
(TW: Suicide 2h36m) Our mishmash of marginally lovable misfits have a chat with the architect of their suffering. Lift and Glade take a walk down memory lane. Juno is humbled.…
Feb 18, 2024 · 2:37:27
Our puddle of sentient chaos continues their journey on the Violet King Henry , making their way to Gizen-Sha Station. Juno and Glade open up after taking inventory of the ship's…
Feb 4, 2024 · 2:27:43
The increasingly battered and bruised group finally get themselves off the station. Pyotr puts two and two together, and wishes he hadn't. Juno eats crackers and tries to do…
Jan 21, 2024 · 2:30:50
Our merry gang of degenerates plunges into an alternative route suggested by Special K. Juno starts her electrician's apprenticeship. Pyotr learns about the drip of the future.…
Jan 7, 2024 · 2:33:15
[Note: There was a strange audio glitch on Brian's track for a few seconds - it's not you, it's us] Our beat up group deals with the aftermath of Juno's gunshot. Pyotr…
Dec 22, 2023 · 2:37:10
Our ragtag gang leaves the station to do a 30 km spacewalk. Their oxygen? Limited. Their tempers? Limited. Their experience? Limited. But, it's just an EVA - how hard can it be?…
Dec 10, 2023 · 2:39:49
[Note: This episode was recorded in a much different space than our first episode - as such, there were some issues with the sound. Let us know if it needs work!] Low blood…
Nov 26, 2023 · 2:38:17
[Note: This episode was recorded in a much different space than our first episode - as such, there were some issues with the sound. Let us know if it needs work!] Our heroes…
Nov 13, 2023 · 2:58:34
Welcome to Gate City - a massive Beam Gate Station approximately 6000 light years from Earth! (Also, learn WTF that means.) In this episode, we meet our characters - Glade,…
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