Ep. 169 What No One Tells You About Getting Pregnant

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We spend so much of our lives being taught how not to get pregnant that we rarely talk about what happens when you actually want to.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the realities of trying to conceive that you might not hear about until you’re already in the middle of it. I talk about why pregnancy can’t be planned as perfectly as the rest of your life, how long it can actually take to conceive, what happens when you come off birth control, and why a negative pregnancy test doesn't automatically mean something is wrong.

I also dive into pregnancy loss and why miscarriage is far more common than many people realize, the impact of age on fertility, why male fertility needs to be part of the conversation, and the many factors that can affect someone’s ability to conceive. And because we live in a world where pregnancy announcements, bumpdates, and newborn photos are constantly appearing on our feeds, I talk about how social media can make an already emotional experience feel even more isolating.

Whether you're nowhere near ready to have kids, starting to think about family planning, or already trying to conceive, this episode is a reminder that there is no universal timeline for pregnancy—and your journey doesn't have to look like anyone else's.

• Why you can't perfectly plan pregnancy or motherhood
• How long it can actually take to conceive
• What to expect when coming off birth control
• The reality of miscarriage and pregnancy loss
• How age can impact fertility
• Why male fertility matters, too
• The different factors that can affect conception
• How social media creates unrealistic expectations around pregnancy
• Why comparing your fertility journey to someone else's isn't helpful
• The importance of talking openly about fertility and pregnancy loss

This episode is for you if...

• You're thinking about having kids someday and want to understand what the journey can actually look like.
• You're starting to think about family planning in your twenties or thirties.
• You're currently trying to conceive and need a reminder that everyone's timeline is different.
• You've experienced pregnancy loss and have felt alone in that experience.
• You find yourself comparing your fertility journey to what you see online.
• You want to have more informed conversations about fertility before you're ready to have kids.

• Pregnancy isn't something you can plan as precisely as the other milestones in your life.
• Getting pregnant can take longer than you expect, even when there are no known fertility issues.
• Coming off birth control doesn't necessarily mean you'll immediately conceive.
• Pregnancy loss is common, but many people experience it privately and don't talk about it.
• Fertility is influenced by many factors, and your journey may look completely different from someone else's.
• Age can affect fertility, which is worth considering when you're thinking about family planning.
• Male fertility is an important part of the conversation and contributes to a significant portion of infertility cases.
• Social media only shows you one side of someone's pregnancy journey.
• Comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else's highlight reel can make an already difficult experience feel even more isolating.
• Talking to medical professionals and people you trust can help you feel less alone and better understand your individual situation.

How long does it usually take to get pregnant?

The episode discusses how conception can take several months, even for couples in their twenties with no known fertility issues. A first-month pregnancy is not the only normal outcome.

Is pregnancy something you can plan?

You can plan when you'd ideally like to start trying, but you can't guarantee when conception, pregnancy, or motherhood will happen. Your body may not follow the timeline you've created.

Is miscarriage common?

Yes. The episode discusses how pregnancy loss is more common than many people realize and why it deserves more open conversation and support.

Does age affect fertility?

Age can affect fertility, particularly as egg quantity and quality naturally decline over time. That doesn't mean pregnancy isn't possible later in life, but it is something to consider when thinking about family planning.

Does fertility only depend on the woman?

No. The episode emphasizes that male fertility is an important part of conception and infertility, too.

Why does social media make trying to conceive harder?

Social media tends to show pregnancy announcements, bump updates, births, and happy moments without showing the struggles that may have happened behind the scenes. This can make you compare your entire journey to someone else's highlight reel.

What should I do if I'm struggling to get pregnant?

The episode encourages you to talk with appropriate professionals, including your OBGYN or a reproductive endocrinology and infertility specialist, as well as trusted people in your life. Your individual situat