491: Why Helping Your Kids Might Be Hurting Them with Elizabeth Pehrson

When it comes to raising independent kids, doing less can actually mean loving more. Karen and Emily welcome back mom of eight, Elizabeth Pehrson, whose last Wire Talk clip went viral with over 7.6 million views! In this powerful conversation, Elizabeth unpacks the long-term value of letting kids struggle, take responsibility, and learn from consequences. From packing lunches to doing laundry, she shares age-appropriate ways to teach kids ownership and why moms need to resist the urge to over-function.

Episode Recap:

• Elizabeth’s last conversation on Wire Talk struck a nerve with viewers (3:31)
• Her children are reaping the rewards of parents who did less, not more (8:16)
• Age-appropriate chores for all ages (9:28)
• How does not helping set our kids up for success in the long run? (14:30)
• We set ourselves up for failure when we put too much of ourselves into our kids (19:20)
• Overfunctioning means doing things for your child that they can do for themselves (17:23)
• How can we start small this week? (23:00)
• It’s not what matters today, it’s what matters when they’re 30 (29:11)
• Just because you can do, provide, or give…doesn’t mean you should (29:43)

Scripture: Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

Discussion Questions: 

1. What’s one area where you tend to step in for your kids instead of letting them handle it?
2. How does doing less for your children actually prepare them for adulthood?
3. Elizabeth said, “Just because you can do, provide, or give, doesn’t mean you should.” What does that look like in your home?
4. What are some areas you need to teach your children to do for themselves this week? 
5. What might God be teaching you about releasing control as your children grow?

Resources:

• Follow Elizabeth online: www.instagram.com/octomama or www.instagram.com/theexchangeus 
• Reach out to https://birdsonawiremoms.com/book-karen-to-speak to have Karen come speak in your community!
• Join our private FB group, BOAW Moms: https://www.facebook.com/groups/BOAWmoms