502: Parenting Adult Children: How to Let Go Without Losing the Relationship with Jim Burns

Parenting doesn’t end when your kids turn 18. In many ways, it gets more complicated! Today Karen and Erin are joined by longtime parenting expert Jim Burns for a wise and honest conversation about parenting adult children. They talk about releasing control, shifting your role, navigating boundaries, resisting unsolicited advice, and discerning the difference between helping and enabling. Whether your kids are still at home, newly launched, or already raising families of their own, this episode will help you parent with clarity, peace, and long-term perspective.

Episode Recap:

• Jim is the founder of Homeward Ministries (3:06)
• When our children become adults, we have to give up control (4:43)
• What does it look like to embrace a new “job description” as moms? (7:00)
• How can we offer wisdom to our adult children or do we just bite our tongues? (11:37)
• Resist the urge to become a “one topic” parent (13:15)
• What’s the difference between helping your kids and enabling them? (15:45)
• How do we place good boundaries when adult kids move back in? (19:10)
• What does it mean to, “wear beige and keep your mouth shut?” (24:00)
• Can you cast vision for the grandparent years? (28:00)
• Continue this conversation on WT+ at the link below (32:00)

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1 (ESV) –  “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

Discussion Questions: 

1. What part of parenting adult children feels most difficult for you right now? If you don’t have adult children yet, what fears or worries do you have about that season of life?
2. How can you shift from giving advice to asking permission before speaking?
3. Is there an area where helping may have crossed into enabling dependency?
4. What expectations need to be clearly communicated in your family right now?
5. How can you focus on relationship building rather than behavior correcting?

Resources:

• Listen to the rest of our conversation with Jim over on WT+: boaw.mom/insider
• Grab a copy of Jim’s new book, Doing Life With Your Adult Children
• Connect with HomeWord Ministries online
• Check out Jim’s podcast and his recent episode on Long Distance Grandparenting
• Check out our BRAND NEW Bible study: How To Teach Your Kids the Bible

Want More of This Conversation?

Wire Talk+ listeners get extended conversations every week! Today we go deeper into parenting wayward adult children, setting boundaries, and navigating complicated family dynamics.

To become a Wire Talk+ Insider, head HERE and join us for the full conversation.