95. ADHD and Masking: When Self-Deprecating Humour Becomes Who You Are

In this episode, we unpack the very real (and very common) experience of showing up already stretched… masking it with humour… and then internalising the entire thing as a personality flaw.

The jokes land.

People laugh.

It looks like you’re coping.

But underneath it — something else is happening.

🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:

• What’s actually happening when you default to self-deprecating humour
• Why ‘being funny about it’ can be a form of real-time regulation
• How overwhelm gets rewritten as ‘this is just who I am’
• The hidden role of impression management in social situations
• Why you leave interactions replaying everything you said
• What ‘cognitive downplaying’ looks like in everyday life
• How overcommitment + pressure turns into identity, not context
• Why nothing changes when you minimise what’s actually too much
• The moment it shifts from ‘this doesn’t work for me’ to ‘I am the problem’
• What it looks like to move the pressure off you — and back onto the situation

💭 This episode is for you if:

• You make jokes when you’re actually overwhelmed
• You leave social situations thinking ‘I did it again’
• You overcommit, then feel trapped in it
• You replay what you said and cringe later
• You’ve labelled yourself as ‘too much’, ‘chaotic’, or ‘bad at follow-through’
• You feel like you have to manage how others see you

🎁 Free Resource

ADHD Self-Test

https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/

If you’ve ever thought

‘is this just my personality… or something else?’

this is a helpful place to start.

🎧 Related Episodes

No, I Can’t Meditate. I’m Too Busy Dissociating

https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-47-quick-reset-no-i-cant-meditate-im-too-busy-disassociating/

Why You’re Bad at Asking for Help and What to Do Instead

https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-18-quick-reset-why-youre-bad-at-asking-for-help-and-what-to-do-inste

. 📬 Listener Questions & Community

🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)

Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.

Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:

https://wa.me/61403457313

✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)

https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864

👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group

For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

Mentioned in this episode:

Free Resources Good Copy

Free Resouces