85. Is the Problem the Child — Or the Learning Plan? with Kat Marrington and Sally Galloway — ADHD Mums

You’re sitting in a meeting thinking you’re here to talk about support.

There’s a plan. There are ‘adjustments’.

And yet your child is still escalating… and suddenly the school is hinting at removal, reduced hours, or ‘this isn’t the right setting’.

This episode is the practical middle bit no one gives you:

When a plan exists, but it’s either the wrong plan — or it’s not actually being applied.

WHY THIS MATTERS

When a school says ‘the plan isn’t working’, it often gets translated as ‘your child is the problem’.

But plans fail for predictable reasons:

they’re too big and unworkable in a class of 28
no one is actually implementing them consistently
teachers don’t understand the ‘why’ behind the strategies
the plan ignores language processing, sensory load, or demand avoidance
there’s no review cycle, no accountability, no data, just documentation
the teacher doesn't have the capacity to implement the plan in the classroom due to numbers and workload.

And when the plan becomes a ‘set and forget’ document, you get stuck in a dangerous loop:

‘We tried everything’ → escalation continues → the child gets labelled → exclusion gets normalised.

WHAT WE COVER

Why an IEP is a start, not a manual
How ‘too many strategies at once’ makes a plan fail fast
What to ask when the school says ‘we’ve tried everything’
How to check if staff actually understand what’s on the plan
Why ‘accommodation’ can trigger teacher resistance — and how ‘considerations’ changes the tone
The missing piece in most behaviour plans: language processing and communication load
How literal thinking, vague instructions, and high language demand can create ‘refusal’ and shutdown
How to build accountability into the plan (review dates, outcomes, roles, communication method)
Red flags that the school has decided your child is ‘too hard’
Green flags that the team is still in curiosity, collaboration, and problem-solving
Orchid vs dandelion kids: when pushing through builds resilience, and when it becomes trauma

THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…

your child has a plan at school but behaviour is still escalating
you keep hearing ‘we’re doing everything’ but nothing changes
the teacher looks overwhelmed and the plan feels impossible in real life
your child gets labelled ‘defiant’ or ‘refusing’ and you suspect it’s processing/demand/safety
you’re trying to work out ‘do we persist or do we leave?’
you want practical language for meetings without becoming ‘that mum’

MORE ABOUT SALLY GALLOWAY & KAT MARRINGTON

Kat Marrington (Speech Pathologist) at www.Talkiplay.com

Sally Galloway (Occupational Therapist) at www.sallygalloway.com.au

🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED IN THIS TRANSCRIPT

1️⃣ When School Decides Your Child Is the Problem

2️⃣ Vanessa LaPointe Episode

Grieving the Child You Imagined — While Loving the One in Front of You

3️⃣ Resilience vs Trauma Episode (Emma Rose)

Raising Strong Children: How to Support Without Always Solving Their Problems