Episode 78: Why Friendship Feels Hard When You Have ADHD

Every week in my support group, parents share the same quiet ache — they wish they had people in their lives who actually got them. They feel lonely. And they're often so busy supporting their child's social struggles that their own go unspoken.

This episode is for you. The parent. The adult.

I am joined by  Caroline Maguire (M.Ed, ACCG, PCC) — ADHD coach, social emotional learning expert, and author of   Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults   — for one of the most honest and relieving conversations the ADHD Families Podcast has had.

✨ About the Guest:

Caroline Maguire (M.Ed, ACCG, PCC) is an ADHD coach, social emotional learning expert, author, and speaker who has spent over a decade researching how neurodivergent adults experience friendship and belonging. Her book Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults is the first written by a neurodivergent person, for a neurodivergent audience — practical, research-backed, and deeply human. She is also the host of the new podcast Your ADHD Social Playbook and has a TEDx Talk available on YouTube.

👀 In This Episode, Sharon Covers:

• Why adult friendship is genuinely harder — and why that is not your fault
• The worldwide loneliness epidemic and why ADHD adults feel it more acutely
• Why proximity is the single biggest factor in making friends — and how ADHD gets in the way
• The radical reframe: friendship is a learnable skill, not a personality trait
• The hidden cost of masking — and what it is doing to your energy and mental health
• The Flavours of Friendship — a framework for understanding different levels of connection
• Why ADHD adults mistake acquaintances for close friends — and the hurt that follows
• Info dumping, oversharing, going quiet: separating shame from skill building
• How to move someone from acquaintance to actual friend
• The repair: how to come back after you've gone quiet or disappeared
  
  

⏱️ Episode Timestamps

• 00:00 – Why ADHD parents feel lonely — and why we don't talk about it
• 02:17 – Friendship is a learnable skill: the reframe that changes everything
• 04:43 – How parenting a child with ADHD affects your own friendships
• 07:06 – Proximity — the single biggest factor in making friends
• 09:15 – The myth that everyone else has it figured out
• 11:38 – Confidence and friendship: the missing piece
• 14:02 – Finding your people — why environment matters more than effort
• 16:20 – The hidden cost of masking in friendships
• 18:36 – Why socialising drains you even when it goes well
• 20:55 – Managing your social energy and the power of the pause
• 23:20 – The Flavours of Friendship framework
• 30:21 – Rejection sensitivity and what it does to friendships
• 35:09 – Pinging: a practical strategy for finding shared connection
• 37:33 – Info dumping, oversharing, going quiet — shame vs skill building
• 39:55 – How to repair a friendship after you've gone quiet
• 42:21 – It's never too late — the path forward
  
  

📕 Caroline's NEW Book — Out Now! 

Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults   i is the first book of its kind — written by a neurodivergent person, for a neurodivergent audience. If th