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How do you get a friend to leave an abusive relationship? If you talk to people who work at women's shelters, they will tell you, but there is something resigned about the way they do it: they know that it's too difficult an ask. Those who can do it reliably are often people who are unlucky enough to have had first-hand experience as victims.
The instructions have anti-memetic properties: no one is thrilled by them, so you can't really propagate them without killing the vibe. If that wasn't enough, if you convey it with insufficient skill it is easy to come across as victim-blaming battered women, so it is wiser to avoid the subject matter altogether.
If you are interested, though, here's what they'll tell you:
You make it known to your friend early on that you dislike some aspects of the relationship, of their abuser. After that, you support them and all their choices without reservation. You make it clear that you care about them no matter what, and you will be there for them whenever they need you to be. You do not antagonize or bad-mouth their abuser.
This is what your friend is experiencing, while being [...]
The original text contained 1 footnote which was omitted from this narration. ---
First published:
November 12th, 2026
Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/2xaen4jJdnksfkCJx/how-to-get-a-friend-to-leave-an-abusive-relationship
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Narrated by
TYPE III AUDIO.
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