Stop Pushing and Watch What Changes

The harder we push, the more our kids can push back.

Fresh from a free-diving trip in the Philippines, Justin shares an unexpected parenting lesson from 20 metres underwater: staying calm can get you further than forcing your way through. Kylie brings it back to the village around our kids and the power of adults who stop, listen and make a child feel like the most important person in the room.

KEY POINTS

• Why force often creates resistance with kids
• What freediving taught Justin about staying calm under pressure
• How regulating ourselves can change a difficult parenting moment
• Why kids need trusted adults beyond their parents
• The impact of giving children your full attention
• How ordinary moments can help rebuild the village around our kids

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Force creates resistance.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Let It Be Tough by Ant Williams
• Happy Families

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• When tension rises, slow yourself down before responding.
• Notice when you’re trying to force an outcome and soften your approach.
• Give your child your full attention when they want to tell you something.
• Think about the good adults in your child’s life and create more opportunities for connection with them.
• Be that trusted adult for another child in your wider family or community.

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