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Jeff English is a trauma-focused clinical counselor with extensive experience working with adults, teens, families, and groups across various settings, including career counseling, life coaching, addiction recovery, professional workshops, and private practice. In this episode, Jeff shares insights from his work as a trauma therapist, exploring how moments of perceived helplessness shape behaviors and how adaptive strategies can become maladaptive over time. He discusses the concept of the "trauma tree," examining its roots (causes) and branches (consequences), and highlights a powerful framework used at the Bridge to Recovery, a residential workshop where Jeff serves as an outreach specialist. Jeff reflects on the transformative power of group therapy, the role of vulnerability in fostering connection, and the challenges of letting go of control. He also offers practical advice on finding a great trauma therapist, balancing personal growth within relationships, and recognizing when it's time to seek help.
We discuss:
- Defining trauma—a loaded word [3:00];
- The therapeutic process at The Bridge to Recovery: confronting discomfort, embracing vulnerability, and reframing one's story [5:45];
- The roots of the trauma tree: the foundational wounding experiences that shape adaptive survival behaviors [11:30];
- The branches of the trauma tree: how trauma manifests through co-dependency, addictive patterns, insecure attachments, and more [17:30];
- The connection between trauma manifestations and underlying wounding experiences, trauma triggers, and the importance of surrender in the healing process [24:00];
- How surrendering control, eliminating distractions, and practicing vulnerability are essential components of the healing process [32:45];
- How adaptive behaviors developed during childhood in response to trauma can become maladaptive in adulthood [43:30];
- The difference between shame and guilt, and recognizing and addressing toxic shame and shame-driven behaviors [49:15];
- The unique rules at The Bridge to Recovery that support the healing process [53:15];
- Internal resistance to healing due to the fear of losing positive traits associated with trauma [58:15];
- The structured storytelling process at The Bridge, and the role of peer feedback in healing [1:05:00];
- The differences between immersive residential therapy and individual therapy, and how to determine the right approach for different individuals [1:09:30];
- Jeff's personal journey as a client and therapist at The Bridge [1:22:00];
- The generational transmission of trauma, and breaking the cycle [1:25:45];
- The challenge of addressing socially acceptable maladaptive behaviors like workaholism, perfectionism, and overachievement [1:28:45];
- How to determine whether struggles stem from deep-seated trauma or just bad habits, and how rewiring maladaptive behaviors requires addressing the underlying emotional wounds [1:32:30];
- Breakthroughs that shatter beliefs and allows change to occur, and the process that creates this opportunity [1:39:15];
- Jeff's advice on finding a therapist for trauma work [1:46:45];
- The importance of connection and vulnerability [1:52:45];
- How to encourage a resistant partner to seek healing [1:57:30];
- Jeff's advice for those facing emotional struggles [1:59:15]; and
- More.
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