[BONUS EPISODE] Can self-compassion actually beat self-sabotage? with Drs. Tess Kilwein & Erin Ayala — Feisty Women's Performance

In this bonus episode from Feisty's sister podcast, Another Mother Runner, hosts Sara Bowen Shea and Amanda Loudin sit down with sport psychologists Dr. Tess Kilwein and Dr. Erin Ayala to unpack why self‑sabotage is a silent performance killer for women athletes—and how self‑compassion can become a powerful antidote.

Listeners will discover

How to spot the sabotage: Recognize common self‑sabotage cues—hedging (“I don’t want to finish last”), self‑handicapping, and perfection‑driven criticism.
Two faces of perfectionism: One drives growth; the other fuels burnout. Learn to identify which version is steering you.
Self‑compassion isn’t “soft”: It’s an active skill (mindfulness, common humanity, self‑kindness) that boosts resilience and performance.
Goldfish mindset: Adopt a short‑memory approach to mistakes—acknowledge, reset, and move forward.
Actionable mental tools: Use pre‑race routines (breathing, music, posture cues), daily habit trackers, and thought‑diffusion naming techniques to keep self‑talk constructive.
Generational nuances: Understand how Title IX, social media, and life stage shape self‑sabotage patterns for older vs. younger women athletes.

Tess Kilwein, PhD, LP, ABPP, CMPC is a Clinical and sport psychologist, founder of Unapologetic Psychology, certified mental performance consultant, and established thought leader in the sport psychology field.

Erin Ayala, PhD, LP, CMPC is a Sport psychologist and certified mental performance consultant, founder of Skadi Sport Psychology, researcher, and endurance gremlin.

Unapologetic Psychology (Dr. Kilwein): https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticpsych/

Skadi Sport Psychology (Dr. Erin Ayala): https://www.instagram.com/skadisportpsychology/

If this conversation sparked a new insight, hit subscribe so you never miss a bonus episode, leave a review to help other women athletes find the show, and share the episode with a teammate who could benefit from breaking self‑sabotage habits.

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