How to Break the People-Pleasing Cycle That's Burning You Out

If you have ever ended a clinical day exhausted not from the medicine itself but from the weight of everybody else's feelings, this episode might hit home.

Josh Connolly, resilience coach and author of ‘It's Them Not You’, joins me to explore why many healthcare professionals take on so much of the emotional load for everyone - and how that pattern almost always began long before medical school.

Key Takeaways

• People-pleasing at work usually has roots in family roles from childhood. The 'high achiever', the 'mascot' and the 'scapegoat' all carry those patterns into adult professional life.
• Holding space for someone is not the same as absorbing their emotions. The moment you start feeling what they feel, you have crossed a boundary - and your ability to help them actually decreases.
• When you are about to say yes under pressure, ask: 'Who have I become right now?' If the answer is your childlike self desperately seeking approval, that is the moment to pause.

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Resources mentioned:

• It's Them, Not You: How to Break Free From Toxic Parents and Reclaim Your Story by Josh Connolly
• The Shapes Academy

Mentioned in this episode:

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