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Real Unicorns Don't Wear Pants

Real Unicorns Don't Wear Pants

The Closer : Slutting It Up for Serotonin

Real Unicorns Don't Wear Pants · Jul 23, 2026 · 1:07:07

0:001:07:07

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You know what's pretty f*cked up? The fact that sometimes worthlessness feels safer than being loved.

It's easy to see a red flag and somehow convince ourselves that it's foreplay. But it's not always because we have low standards... it's because we don't know what the other side of depletion really feels like.

So, if you've played the Game of Thrones on Tinder while secretly wondering WTF was wrong with you... press play to stop confusing survival with intimacy.

Remember to share this with the friend who keeps saying, "he's actually a really good guy..." while accepting far less than she truly wants.

PS. If you're ready to stop confusing chemistry with self-sabotage, I'll meet you inside the SUBCONSCIOUS REWIRING SESSION.

PPS. At the bottom of that page, you'll see a button to enter our PASSPORT GIVEAWAY. If you've already started your scavenger hunt... DM us the password TEACUP to get your next stamp.

Episodes: Real Unicorns Don't Wear Pants

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