311. The Identity You Have to Grieve to Lead Well

LaShawn Bridges has run Blessed Beginnings Learning Center in Detroit for 27 years. She's been through a recession. She's been through COVID. And she'll tell you the hardest season of her whole career wasn't either of those. It was learning how to stop being everyone's answer.

I love bringing owners into this space because the shape of the story tends to rhyme, even when the details don't. LaShawn came to me in survival mode. She had policies. She had procedures. She had disciplinary systems on paper. And she still couldn't leave her building without holding her breath.

This conversation is about what happens on the other side of that. Not a personality transplant, not a quick fix, just the slow, sometimes grief-soaked work of installing infrastructure and watching who you become because of it.

We talk about the identity LaShawn had to grieve to become the anchored, accountable leader she is now. We talk about what chronic over-functioning cost her physically and mentally. And we talk about what changed in her marriage, her relationship with her adult daughters, and her families, once she stopped being the fixer for everyone in her orbit.

If you've ever felt guilty for wanting quiet, or scared that letting something break means you've failed, this one is for you.

What You'll Learn

• Why LaShawn describes her old leadership style as “survival mode” even with systems already on paper
• The identity she had to grieve in order to become an anchored, accountable leader
• What chronic over-functioning cost her physically, and how her body told her before her mind caught up
• The phrase she repeats to herself to stop absorbing problems that aren't hers to hold
• How she rebuilt her calendar so staff issues stop landing on her desk in real time
• The weekly rhythm that changed her marriage after 27 years together
• Why she now sees failure as a healthy, necessary part of building a business that runs without her
• How she defines excellence, for her team, her families, and herself

Resources Mentioned

• Chanie's book, This Can't Be Normal: https://thiscantbenormal.com
• Download Chapter One for Free: https://thiscantbenormal.com/chapter-one

Connect With Us:

• Join us on Substack: https://chaniewilschanski.substack.com/