You Don’t Have To Achieve To Be Loved – Redefining Success with Becca Pearce

In this powerful episode of Scale HER Up – The Female Entrepreneur Show, I’m joined by Becca Pearce, executive coach, former healthcare CEO and author of You Don’t Have To Achieve To Be Loved: Escape the Lies You’ve Been Sold to Design the Life You Want. Becca shares her remarkable journey from leading the implementation of Obamacare in Maryland, to a very public job loss, to a life-threatening brain tumour and major surgery that left her having to learn to walk again – and how all of that ultimately led her to completely redefine success and redesign her life. Becca Pearce

She talks about landing back in a senior hospital role to “prove” she could still do it, only to realise that titles, money and corporate achievement no longer mattered in the same way. What she really wanted was time – like one more morning to put her daughter on the school bus. That realisation led her to quit, retrain as an executive coach and focus her work on high-achieving women who have done everything they were “supposed to do” and are quietly wondering, “Is this it?”

Becca introduces the core belief that shaped her life – “I must achieve in order to be loved” – and explains how many women carry similar unconscious rules such as “I must have a title to be respected” or “I must earn a certain amount to be valued.” She shares her change framework, starting with “unfortunate awareness” (that nagging sense something isn’t right), moving through mourning old identities, and into the “one foot in, one foot out” phase where social and emotional ties make change feel scary and sticky.

We also talk about boundaries, identity and perfectionism as a business owner: giving yourself grace, not “should-ing” all over yourself, and setting up a business that honours your values and needs – like Becca’s own non-negotiables of daily dog walks, daylight, no weekends and clear finish times. She offers practical advice on hiring support early, investing in yourself, and remembering that if you don’t have an assistant, you are the assistant.

This is an honest, compassionate conversation for any woman who looks successful from the outside but feels restless, exhausted or disconnected on the inside – and is ready to start designing a life and business that truly fit who she is now.

In this episode, we cover

1. Becca’s story: leading a major healthcare reform project, losing her job publicly and later discovering a golf-ball-sized brain tumour
2. Brain surgery, rehabilitation and coming back with partial deafness, vision and balance challenges – and what that taught her about what really matters
3. Returning to a big corporate role to prove she could still do it, then realising titles and money weren’t enough anymore
4. How she retrained as an executive coach and why she now focuses on successful women who feel like they’ve done everything “right” but are still unhappy
5. The core belief “I must achieve to be loved” and other common hidden rules women carry about worth, money and success
6. Her change model: unfortunate awareness, mourning old identities, one foot in/one foot out, and the reality that deep change takes years, not weeks
7. The power of identifying your true core values and needs today (not 10 or 20 years ago)
8. “Shoulding” on yourself and noticing phrases like “I should be happy” or “I should be further on than this”
9. Boundaries that protect your energy: non-negotiable daily habits, working hours and designing work around life
10. Perfectionism and analysis paralysis when you run your own business, and how to set time limits so decisions actually get made
11. Why hiring an assistant early is a strategic move, not a luxury – and how women often underinvest in themselves and their own support
12. The importance of self-compassion, giving yourself grace and accepting that your relationship with yourself changes when you become a business owner