Jan 6th - A Collection of Stories and Laments

We have a special bonus episode today as we remember one year ago and the Jan 6th (2021) insurrection at the capitol. We’ve asked former guests, friends and colleagues what they remember about this day? What this event meant to them? How they are feeling a year later.

Hearing the words, stories and tears from each of the folks who’ve taken the time to lend their voice to this project has been a powerful lament. Maggie has felt them deeply within her body.

So because of this was a traumatic event and these are stories recounting trauma responses, you the listener may also experience mild to significant discomfort. Please consider good self care, be mindful of yourself and taking breaks as needed.

Here is the number for a national mental health care hotline, if you need to talk to someone

1-800-273-8255

Maggie start us off by reading an excerpt from her journal:

"Jan 6, 2021 Honestly I’ve got too many words and thoughts for what has transpired today. Trump supporters, radicalized and encouraged by Trump, rioted, broke into the US Capitol and sought to stop the counting of the electoral votes claiming election fraud. “An Election was stolen,” Trump said. 4 Dead. Many arrested. I’m completely shocked at the scary and dangerous level of these “nationalists.” Really, it’s the stuff we hear about happening in other countries. This is the world we brought our children into? Wow. I want to have hope in our government but I clearly cannot. I want to see change led by the church, but I do not.

"Where are you God and what are you up to? Your endless patience, long suffering and waiting for someone to partner with… I just don’t think humankind has got enough for you to work with right now. [And yet] even as I write this I know it to not be true. [Once] again I’m looking in the wrong place.

"God show me. I know in my head you are good and you are near. I can’t feel you. I can’t see you. Help me. I want you to make all things new. Have you started? I know you’re doing things in my family and in me… but what is [happening in] the big picture? Where is the grand finale, the great reversal, the coming of your upside-down kingdom?

"These are strange and wild times. Division is palpable. I can feel myself want to withdraw inward, to hole up and focus on “just my little world,” but I know this is not the way.

Maggie said she remembers in the days and months following that day, the haunting and disturbing images on the news and in social media. "I felt sick, disgust, anxious and afraid. Truly afraid for the uncertain times ahead."

She says some of these feels continue even into this morning reading the news regarding the investigation that there is “significant testimony” that Trump’s own daughter asked him to intervene and stop what was happening at the capitol and he refused. "The disgust and fear around how much evil was at work that day is scary, even a year later."

Written Statement (No Audio Available):

Though I wasn't in front of the news last January 6, the tension in the air was palpable. As the day unfolded, I found myself in shock & disbelief as the nation's Capitol was overrun by What appeared to be primally driven, animistic behavior. There was nothing I could scrape together in my

Mind to make sense of the behavior. I was not aware these events were to take place. I attempted to make sense of the whole in shock, anguish, and disgust. The right was blaming the left. Groups claiming a "few bad apples" ruined the intended peaceful rally. I do not believe that small collective accurately represent entire organizations or people groups.

Nevertheless, I was horrified as I continued to read about gallows, a noose, and defecation. How do we turn a blind eye to something so horrific? I find myself in an interesting place. The masses of my friends have chosen to spend the last number of years learning, growing, understanding, and attempting to change this nation's shameful history of racial exploitation and misogynistic white structures.

Being white, it would be remiss for me not to name the times I have felt I am not a part of this. And yet, if I'm honest, heartbreakingly, I am. There are no two ways about it. We all are.

At times I have quietly listened as the events and ramifications of that day have been discussed; other times, I have not been so quiet. For me, nausea and sadness, coupled with anger, caused questions to roll over and over in my mind. How in the world are the events of that day be considered a step toward making America great again, and not a permanent stain on who we are, And how far we have to go?

Written Statement #2 (audio available):

January 6, 2021 I found myself at home, just a regular old pandemic living type of day. I bathed my kids, nursed my "baby" for the last time, I baked a loaf of sourdough bread, all while trying not to draw my kids attention to the constant news that was playing in the background.

As I watched both the news covering the insurrection at the capital and the footage of the Trump rallies nearby I would jump back-and-forth between the two events and also to commentary from several major news networks. My body was tense, I remember feeling torn and anxious and worried and almost displaced from reality. Something in me needed to SAY something or DO something especially because many around me or not or were downplaying what we were watching unfold.

I took to my Facebook page and wrote the status update "This is terrorism, white privilege, idol worship, and insurrection on full display. To not denounce it is harmful."

As I look at it now and recount the comments posted in reply. I look at the 'reactions' chosen by people and I wonder did they use the angry face because they were angry at what was happening, or at me for calling it like