The Two-Year Warning: Women's Journey Before Divorce

Episode #1196

Has your wife been asking you to get help, try counseling, find a coach, attend a retreat, or simply do something about your marriage?

You may hear it as criticism. She may be trying to tell you something much more important.

In this episode of The TPM Show, Doug Holt and Erin Holt discuss what may be happening long before a wife starts seriously considering divorce. Erin shares the female perspective on the years of conversations, attempts at connection, requests for change, and emotional work that can happen before a woman reaches the point where she's ready to leave.

For many husbands, the announcement that their wife is unhappy or considering divorce feels sudden. From her perspective, however, the problem may have been building for years.

Erin explains that women may repeatedly initiate conversations, suggest marriage counseling, research programs, read books, or work on themselves because they still want the marriage to work. When those attempts are repeatedly dismissed or nothing consistently changes, she may eventually stop trying.

Doug and Erin also discuss why getting help isn't an admission that something is wrong with you. Relationship skills are learned skills. Men routinely invest time, money, and energy into becoming better businessmen. Applying some of that same growth mindset to your marriage can change how you show up as a husband, father, and leader.

The message is simple: if your wife keeps asking you to do something, listen before she stops asking.

Timestamp Chapters

00:00 The warning signs men miss before divorce
00:41 Why your wife keeps asking you to get help
01:29 How common is it for women to ask their husbands to change?
02:33 How far along is she when she asks for counseling?
03:06 The emotional work happening before divorce
05:42 Why divorce can feel sudden to husbands
07:03 What changes when a man finally takes action
08:05 Why investing in your marriage matters
09:10 Scales Free Training
10:13 How a stronger marriage can affect the rest of your life
11:32 The signs your wife may already be giving you
12:12 Why women ask their husbands to get help
13:50 Getting help isn't a character flaw
14:24 Why personal growth can rebuild hope
17:33 Are you enjoyable to be married to?
18:29 Developing yourself even when your marriage is struggling
20:04 Listen to the hints before they stop

If your marriage has lost some of its love, respect, admiration, or intimacy, the Scales Free Training explains how you may have gotten there and provides a step-by-step methodology for beginning to rebuild it.

Prefer to watch instead of listen? Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/h2rGbkTBEPE

The Powerful Man helps businessmen become stronger husbands, fathers, and leaders through practical coaching, brotherhood, and relationship tools for stronger marriages and families.