The Coaching Skill Nobody Knew to Teach Me

Send us Fan Mail

Someone comes to you stuck and you can feel the pressure to say the perfect thing. You reach for advice, a pep talk, or a quick solution, and somehow it still doesn’t help. We name what’s really happening: you’re not failing because you don’t care enough or because you “aren’t confident.” You’re missing a repeatable coaching skill for hard conversations, and most of us were never trained to build it.

Marc unpacks what “winging it” looks like from the inside and why, under stress, we fall back to muscle memory. We talk about the common trap of becoming a consultant or cheerleader, how that can accidentally create limiting beliefs, and why strong leadership coaching relies on questions that reveal what’s driving behavior. We also draw a bright line between guiding and controlling: you can be asking questions and still steer the person toward your preferred answer with leading prompts that plant the wrong story.

You’ll hear how this skill translates across roles, whether you’re a manager, a parent, or a coach, and why having a simple process (like a growth model approach) changes your presence. When you know what you’re doing, people feel it, trust it, and take action. We close with a challenge scenario you can think through before next week.

If this helps, subscribe, share it with someone who leads people, and leave a quick review. What’s your default when someone gets emotional in the room?

Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it.

We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you.

Start at modernleadership.us/lead